TV-MA | 32 MIN
Written by Carson Mell
Directed by Mike Judge
Richard attempts to address his new employees to kick off the first day of orientation. Rather than inspire faith in his leadership, he panics and rushes to vomit. In his delirium, he runs face first into the glass wall of his office — leaving him with a bloody nose and a bruised ego.
To Richard's horror, Jared reveals he's planned three more days of orientation. Jared explains these activities will unite the teams and promote productive working relations, thus saving time in the long run. More concerned with avoiding public speaking, Richard decides to instead utilize the Optimoji and
Gavin questions the design for the upcoming Gavin Belson Signature Box III. His main concern: It doesn't feature his actual signature. It turns out Hooli's market researchers found his signature did not perform well with consumers, and his penmanship indicates sociopathic tendencies. He decides to crowdsource the design of his signature to Hooli employees — the winning design has a phallic flourish.
The Optimoji and
Jian-Yang convinces a judge that Erlich left no will or next of kin, making him his defacto heir. But in order to legally own the Hacker Hostel and acquire 10 percent of Pied Piper, Jian-Yang must settle all of Erlich's debt.
Dinesh purchases a Tesla to celebrate Pied Piper's recent successes, giving
Richard begrudgingly attempts another speech to unite the company. He proposes they should all be inspired to build a new internet. If they aren't motivated by this mission, he tells the coders, they should leave. His speech backfires when the entire team exits, except for Dinesh and Gilfoyle.
The next day, Dinesh and Gilfoyle get to the office to find an exhausted but elated Jared, plus Optimoji and
Weak from his coding marathon, Richard walks out from his office and suddenly feels sick — again. Instead of merely running into the glass wall, he falls and breaks through it completely.
After a long and exhausting day, the guys arrive back at the Hacker Hostel, only to discover they're locked out. Jian-Yang opens the door to inform them he now runs Erlich's incubator and the guys are officially evicted.