Written by Pete Holmes & Beth Stelling
Directed by Ryan McFaul
Pete packs his things and Russell tells him he feels bad for kicking him out. Once Pete is out the door, Russell’s roommate asks, “Did he buy it?” Pete notices he’s near Artie’s apartment and gives him a call. After apologizing for what happened in Albany, Pete tells Artie the rest of the story from that night. A woman laughs, and Pete realizes he’s interrupted Artie’s podcast with Sarah Silverman. Artie invites him to be on the show.
On the podcast, the comics trade stories about losing their virginity. Pete, adds his own anecdote: “If you love dry-humping, you’ll be happy to know that it’s very big in the Christian community… well into your late-twenties.”
Back on his corner barking, Pete unknowingly hands a flier to Sarah Silverman, who can’t believe this is Pete’s job. Pete admits he’s technically homeless so Sarah gives him her address and invites him to crash with her.
Only Porter and Anaya are at The Boston, so Pete heads to Sarah’s apartment where her friend Steve lets him in and gives him the tour. Pete makes himself at home and later that night has a heart-to-heart with Sarah who gives him some career advice: “You should be a warm-up comedian.”
With Sarah’s help, Pete lands a gig on The Rachael Ray Show. The producer, Schmitty, tells Pete they already have a warm-up, but he can be on-call. Mort, the regular guy, works the crowd before spiraling into a complete panic at the threat of Pete taking his job. When Rachael has to get her mic adjusted, Schmitty tells Mort to entertain the crowd; instead, he takes the mic and berates the nervous audience. Security drags Mort away and Pete steps in.
Pete returns to Sarah’s and tells her about Mort’s episode. Schmitty also offered him a “trial week” and paid him in advance. Sarah and her house guests all celebrate Pete’s gainful employment. After some convincing, Pete smokes a joint with Sarah and admits he’s never watched her stand-up because she makes fun of Jesus. Sarah suggests Pete to treat himself to a nice hotel room now that he’s making money. Pete takes her advice and sprawls out on a clean, comfy bed.