You'd Be Surprised
Boardwalk Empire | Season 3 | Episode 5

You'd Be Surprised


Written by Diane Frolov & Andrew Schneider
Directed by Tim Van Patten

Nucky, Eli and Owen meet with Rothstein to discuss the Gyp Rosetti problem, since there are no viable routes to New York that bypass Tabor Heights. Nucky wants to work with Rothstein to take out Rosetti, but Rothstein balks at the idea - Gyp answers to Joe Masseria with whom Rothstein has a very delicate truce. "You expect me to start a war, in New York, where things actually matter?" he asks.

In Cicero, Van Alden learns from his boss that Agent Coughlin, the Prohee that fined him at the speakeasy, came looking for him. Later, when Coughlin stops by his apartment and slips a business card under the door, Van Alden believes he's been caught. He tries to tell Sigrid about his past, but she cuts him off: She claims to know what he's been accused of, but believes the accusations are false.

At the Artemis Club, Gillian asks Leander Whitlock for help getting a loan. He reminds her that costs exceed revenue and that she must declare Jimmy dead in order to qualify. Gillian remains adamant that Jimmy is alive and well: "He's prone to long disappearances - he's always been an adventurous boy."

Nucky stops at home to ensure that everything is all right. Margaret is suspicious about his concern, asking: "Are there to be bodyguards again?" Later, Nucky watches Billie Kent rehearse a new play but Eddie Cantor warns him that her incompetent costar is going to sink the show.

In Washington DC, Treasury Secretary Andrew Mellon testifies before a Senate subcommittee about the Justice Department's corruption and ineptitude, headed by Attorney General Harry Daugherty. An aide reveals the details of his testimony to Gaston Means, who is waiting outside the Senate chamber for information.

Dr. Mason gives his first lecture at the women's clinic, though attendance is low. Afterwards, Dr. Mason apologizes to Margaret for having misjudged her ability to get the clinic up and running.

Billie visits Nucky at the Ritz to tell him her show's been canceled. Nucky offers to talk to Shubert, but she asks him not to get involved - she only wanted to complain.

Rothstein meets with Gyp in Tabor Heights and they commiserate over Nucky's arrogance. Now in control of Nucky's ocean, Gyp tells Rothstein, "I have the same boats, the same booze - I'll even give you the same price." Rothstein agrees to the deal.

At a private dinner at Babette's, Nucky asks Eddie Cantor to star opposite Billie to save her show. Eddie declines, unwilling to break a contract in New York and Nucky claims to understand. Later, he sends Chalky White and Dunn Purnsley to Eddie's hotel room to strong-arm him into accepting the role.

After another unsuccessful afternoon passing out flyers advertising the women's clinic on the boardwalk, Margaret enters La Belle Femme to discover Nucky buying a dress for Billie. That night, Nucky returns home to apologize for "demonstrating bad form," but Margaret doesn't allow him to say goodnight to the children. Nucky concedes, but tells her, "You might want to ask yourself some practical questions."

Gaston Means meets with Jess Smith and reveals details about Secretary Mellon's testimony against Harry Daugherty and the Justice Department, sending Smith into a panic. Means suggests that Smith put a bootlegger in prison to get Mellon off his back, but Smith fears the consequences.

Agent Coughlin finally catches Van Alden at home. Misinterpreting his intentions, Sigrid violently attacks Coughlin before Van Alden can stop her - he only wanted to complain about a faulty iron Van Alden sold him. Forced to finish off Coughlin, Van Alden turns to Dean O'Banion for help disposing of the body.

Gillian writes a letter to Jimmy, begging him to come home. Desperate for business, she orders her ladies to advertise on the porch.

Sister Agnes warns Margaret that the lectures will be canceled due to poor attendance. When Dr. Mason is called away for an emergency procedure, Margaret takes over, speaking to the women herself.

In Tabor Heights, Benny Siegel arrives at the Kinneret lodge disguised as the paper boy while Gyp is engaged in S&M with a town waitress. He attempts to kill Gyp on behalf of Rothstein and Nucky, but fails.

In Atlantic City, Nucky watches Billie and Eddie Cantor rehearse. Backstage, Eddie coolly asks Billie if she's ever heard of Nucky's former mistress, Lucy Danziger.