Jermaine Clement green shirt dancingJermaine Clement green shirt dancing

Feeling Sad, Angry, Aroused? Flight of the Conchords Have a Song for You

by Robert Silva


Flight of the Conchords — made up of Jemain Clement and Bret McKenzie — make great comedic pop songs across genres — and emotional terrain. Here are songs that will speak to you no matter what you’re feeling at this very moment.

1. “Business Time”

For some couples, brushing teeth is considered foreplay. If it’s Wednesday and nothing’s good on TV, and you’re preparing to make “sweet weekly love” (after taking out the recycling), this funky Barry White send-up might be for you. It won’t take long. Good pop songs, like proper lovemaking, should only last around two minutes.

For when you’re: Feeling romantic… but not that energetic.
Find it in: Season 1, Episode 5: “Sally Returns”

2. “You Don’t Have to Be a Prostitute”

Prostitution may seem immune to the whims of the financial market, or the advances in automation that have decimated the manufacturing industry, but the oldest profession still has a few, downsides. Before you go down that path, consider other options, like working in an office. You can turn off your red light.

For when you’re: Reconsidering your life choices.
Find it in: Season 2, Episode 2: “The New Cup”

3. “The Most Beautiful Girl (in the Room)”

According to the Internet, true love isn’t about finding someone you can live with; it’s about finding someone you can’t live without (most of the time). In this torch song, Jemaine spots a girl across the room and experiences a feeling like he’s never felt before, with anyone, ever (at least recently). Some people don’t find love like this in a lifetime; perhaps they just need to lower their standards.

For when you’re: Relatively in love.
Find it in: Season 1, Episode 1: “Sally”

4. “Carol Brown”

In this nostalgic number--inventively directed by Michel Gondry as a succession of flashbacks projected on a building--Jemaine reminisces in rhymed couplets about past relationships that didn’t pan out. (“Brittany. Brittany hit me.”) There are a lot of them. He’s interrupted by a choir of ex-girlfriends who take Jemaine to task about his past actions. Jemaine: “How can we ever know if I'm the right person in this world?” Chorus of Girlfriends: “That means he looks at other girls.”

For when you’re: Feeling haunted by the past.
Find it in: Season 2, Episode 5: “Unnatural Love”

5. “I’m Not Crying”

Misunderstandings happen. Appearances can be deceiving. What might seem like a single tear falling slowly down your face could be anything. It might be sweat. It could be, as Jemaine says in this breakup tune, that it’s “just been raining on my face.” There are a lot of possibilities. This song considers them all.

For when you’re: Feeling like crying, but are definitely not crying.
Find it in: Season 1, Episode 1: “Sally”

Every season of Flight of the Conchords is available on HBO.