3 Seasons | 18 Episodes | TV-MA
From the creators of 'Big Love' comes this comedy series about the dysfunctional staffers working in the female geriatric wing of a beleaguered California hospital. Led by disgruntled Dr. Jenna James (Laurie Metcalf), the staff includes no-nonsense newbie Nurse DiDi (Niecy Nash), unit veteran Nurse Dawn (Alex Borstein) and male Supervising Nurse Patsy (Mel Rodriguez).
No Such Thing as Idealized Genitalia
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by</b> Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer<b><br>Directed by</b> Miguel Arteta<br><br>Nurse DiDi questions dying patient Mrs. Decker about what she's seeing in the afterlife, as fellow nurse Dawn and the patient's family looks on. After Mrs. Decker passes, Dawn chastises Didi for her behavior: "There's an art to dying, Didi. It's not just a chatty séance."<br><br>Dr. Jenna James pulls Dr. Paul Stickley aside to tell him about her "potentially groundbreaking" geriatric anogenital study, as well as her work on vaginal atrophy that she hopes will be lucrative with Big Pharma. She hands him a sheaf of receipts for her research equipment, but Paul is hesitant to push them through.<br><br>Dr. James reprimands Dawn for not measuring the perinea of two male patients being released that day. Dawn explains that while she appreciates the opportunity, she wonders if someone else could assume the role of Dr. James' research assistant. However, Dr. James insists Dawn is perfectly capable of handling the task and simply needs to believe in herself.<br><br>Supervising nurse Patsy De La Serda addresses the staff about the newly installed "sani-cams," which record contaminating and cleansing "events." The numbers are tabulated at an offshore facility and reported back via a scrolling marquee and he congratulates the staff on a 65 percent hand-washing rate.<br><br>DiDi meets with Patsy to discuss the raise she was promised after being with the hospital for four months. Patsy only offers excuses as to why he can't give it to her, but when DiDi reminds him that the LPNs at Memorial are making $17 an hour, he suggests she build an "atta girl file" with the good things her patients have to say to "strengthen" her case.<br><br>Dr. James meets with the surly Mrs. Carmaglia, who tells Dr. James she put a curse on her. Dr. James thanks Mrs. Carmaglia for participating in her study on vaginal atrophy, but reminds her that she was discharged 36 hours prior and needs to leave. She apologizes for getting Mrs. Carmaglia's hopes up about a surgery and threatens to send in security if she doesn't vacate her bed.<br><br>Dawn meets with Patsy, who insists her feelings of malaise stem from her toxic relationship with Dr. James and encourages her to practice "mindfulness." Dawn reveals that she looked at another apartment for them to share. "You're my lover and my friend," she tells Patsy before leaving.<br>DiDi tells Dr. James that Suzi Sasso called to confirm their meeting about adding more hospice suites to Billy Barnes, but she won't meet with Suzi until hell freezes over because corporate hospice people are "vultures." Dr. James is further agitated when she discovers that Dr. Stickley and the hospital committee returned her research equipment receipts.<br><br>Dr. James calls her colleague Rick Joy to inquire about her expenses, checking to make sure it wasn't the fault of her staff, as she's "saddled with nurse incompetency." Dawn overhears Dr. James tell Rick that one of her nurses is "worthless and the other less worthless."<br><br>Dawn and Margeurite Macaw measure and photograph patient Jim Wyman's perineum, per Dr. James' orders. Dawn struggles with the procedure and takes out her frustration with Dr. James on Margeurite.<br><br>Dr. James uses the restroom, but struggles with the automatic lights -- part of Patsy's new green initiative -- which shut off the minute she stops moving. She claps her hands until the arrival of Dawn, who she asks to jump around until she finishes up. When Dr. James emerges from the stall and heads to the sink, Dawn notices she's tucked the back of her dress into her pantyhose but keeps her mouth shut.<br><br>Later, Dr. James confronts Dawn about the blurry photo of Mr. Wyman's perineum: "For all I know, this could be a snapshot of Carlsbad Caverns," she tells Dawn with disgust. They're interrupted by the arrival of two police officers who've responded to Mrs. Carmaglia's 911 call -- she filed a formal complaint citing Dr. James as abusive, negligent and an "old liar." Dr. James explains that Mrs. Carmaglia participated in her study and they discussed vaginoplasty, but the procedure is not covered by the woman's Medicare or insurance. "You said I'd drive off with a brand new vulva," Mrs. Carmaglia spits. "My p***y is getting fixed, and I'm not getting out of this bed until you do it."<br><br>Dr. Stickley drops by Dr. James's office to inform her that he's just been promoted to Director of Medicine for the entire Mount Palms Hospital. He tells her that she needs to hit pause on her research while he figures out his new role. When she reminds him that he coerced her into her current job so that he wouldn't have to take it, Dr. Stickley reminds her that her window to complain has closed: "You'd be complaining about me to me." He reveals that there have been proposals to close Billy Barnes and lease it to a food court; her "carte blanche research ride" is over. <br><br>Following her annual physical, Dawn is informed that she's pregnant. When she shares the results with DiDi, she admits she doesn't know who the father is. Taking pity on Dawn, DiDi offers to make them coffee and work on the shift handover notes together, knowing that she'll be late to her son's 16th birthday party.<br><br>Desperate for research funds, Dr. James calls Suzi Sasso to discuss how patients might "benefit" from the addition of more hospice comfort suites. She's delighted to learn how much hospice will "enhance her bottom line" by tapping into deceased patients' unused Medicaid benefits.</p></div>
Is Soap a Hazardous Substance?
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by</b> Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer<b><br>Directed by</b> Miguel Arteta<br><br>Dawn drops into union rep Paula Pepperell's office to discuss her maternity benefits and becomes excited when she learns about all her new entitlements. Paula notices that Dawn's hands are extremely raw and chapped -- a result of the harsh sanitizing fluid in Patsy's newly installed sani-cams.<br><br>DiDi asks Dawn if she's prepared to be a single mom. Dawn tells her that while she doesn't know who the father is, she knows who'll make the best one -- while throwing glances at Patsy. Meanwhile, Dr. James meets with Suzi Sasso, who explains the variety of "kick-backs" she will receive with hospice care implementation. Following their meeting, Dr. James asks DiDi if she's informed Dawn of her new role as "hospice nurse liaison" -- which she has not. Adding insult to injury, she also presents Dawn with a young male resident who's stepped up to aid her research and is excited to "sink his teeth into vaginal atrophy."<br><br>On her rounds, Dr. James meets Dottie Levy, an alcoholic who's had four staples put into her head following a grade-3 concussion. Dawn informs Dr. James that Dottie had six liters of fluid removed from her abdomen -- a symptom of severe alcohol-related disease. Dr. James informs Dottie that she only has 10 percent liver function, 20 percent kidney function, and it's a miracle she's still alive. In the face of Dottie's continued irreverence regarding her condition, Dr. James encourages her to use her time in the hospital to stop drinking; her body is shutting down in every conceivable way.<br><br>Patsy confronts Dawn about a Health & Welfare meeting that's been called to discuss his sani-cams. "Are your hands really that sensitive?" he asks. Dawn explains it was Paula, not her, that complained. "I would cleanse my hands to the bone for you, you know I would!" Dawn says. With Patsy placated, Dawn reveals that she found them a great apartment -- and she already put down a two-month deposit. Patsy balks, claiming that he believed they were only looking -- and runs off before Dawn can tell him about the pregnancy.<br><br>Ellen Weller's daughter-in-law, Arlene Willy-Weller, confronts Dr. James about taking Mrs. Weller off of a certain medication. After providing an explanation, Dr. James inquires about dots she saw on Mrs. Weller's chest scan. Arlene tells her that they're innocuous -- simply "Nebraska dots" -- and the result of something airborne from a hog-lot.<br><br>DiDi catches Dottie Levy rooting through drawers looking to for painkillers. DiDi struggles to calm down Dottie, who refuses to be serious about the possibility that her alcoholism will kill her. Before walking away, DiDi tells her that the hospital offers a variety of staff to support her condition. Seemingly having had a change of heart, Dottie asks to contact her former reverend so that she can try to make peace with her life. <br><br>While eating a snack in the lounge, Dawn watches as Patsy stumbles through the ward clutching his left arm before crashing to the floor. Patsy believes he's having a heart attack, but refuses to let Dawn call down to cardiology -- the hospital has been firing staff with high BMIs, and he recently clocked in at a whopping 33 percent. After rushing him in a wheelchair to an open hospital bed, Dawn locates Dr. James and asks her to examine Patsy. Though exasperated with his refusal to be seen by in-house staff, she agrees to run tests to rule out a heart event. However, Dr. James makes no bones about what she believes is really going on: "I strongly suspect what we're dealing with is another middle-aged man who ought to diet, exercise more, eat less, who's monopolizing nursing staff and medical resources with phantom chest pains when there are far more pressing uses for this bed."<br><br>Overhearing raucous laughter from Dottie Levy's bed, DiDi discovers Dottie and her friend Reverend Margaret, drunk and unruly, swigging from an enormous vodka bottle the Reverend snuck in. When confronted by DiDi, the Reverend explains her actions: "I'm improving her mental health by not demanding she give up drinking because clearly she likes it." Drawn in by the commotion, Dr. James helps DiDi separate the two women and forces Dottie back into her bed. Dottie defiantly plants a messy kiss on Dr. James while she holds her down. <br><br>Later, Dr. James reviews hospice documents with DiDi. They're interrupted by Arlene Willy-Weller, who after unsuccessfully trying to reach Dr. James through the main line, inquires directly about her mother-in-law's condition. Dr. James reveals that the "Nebraska dots" are actually tumors, and suggests Arlene may wish to consult with Ellen's son -- Arlene's husband -- on how to proceed. Arlene admits her husband actually died four months earlier -- she's been lying to Ellen that her son is alive. Arlene is alone in caring for a woman who once told her she "wasn't worth the powder" it would take to blow her up. Dr. James sympathizes, admitting that her mother-in-law called her "an angry f**king c*nt at Thanksgiving."<br><br>Dawn finds Patsy resting in the lounge and delivers his lab results -- he's completely fine and Dr. James believes he just had a panic attack. Patsy says her news about their apartment is what did him in, but Dawn insists it's just the thing he needs to ground him.<br><br>At the Health & Welfare meeting, Patsy fights back, claiming he feels that his program is being ambushed. Paula Pepperell insists that they need to dig deeper about the effects the alcohol in the sanitizer could be having on staff, revealing Dawn's condition when she questions whether or not she may be risking fetal alcohol syndrome. After the meeting, Dawn and Patsy talk about the pregnancy. "This is not how I wanted to tell you. I wanted it to be in water, with candles and music," Dawn laments. Shell-shocked, Patsy repeats empty lines about having respect for Dawn's body and choices, though he's unsure about being "co-parents" with her.<br><br>After hours, Dottie Levy wanders the halls of the Billy Barnes ward, drinking the hand sanitizer from the dispensers in order to get her alcohol fix.<br><br>Desperate for the last drops, she wrenches a dispenser off the wall, but the effort sends her toppling backwards. She cracks her already-wounded head on the floor and dies.</p></div>
Turnips...North Day...Yes, yes.
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by</b> Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer<b><br>Directed by</b> Becky Martin<b><br></b><br>As Dawn arrives for her shift, she wheels in a cello that she bought earlier and plans to play for her child while in the womb. She announces to DiDi that she and Patsy have a 12-week check-up later that day.<br><br>Mrs. Ellen Weller calls in DiDi, demanding to know why she's in the hospital. DiDi explains she's in for a heart valve repair, but when Mrs. Weller grows increasingly agitated and resistant, DiDi promises no procedure will be forced on her.<br><br>Dawn and Patsy discover that a virus has shut down the entire computer network at Billy Barnes. She and Patsy address the staff on how to proceed in an analog, "old school" fashion.<br><br>Arlene Willy-Weller confronts DiDi about the conflicting information she's gotten regarding the health of her mother-in-law Ellen. Dr. Paul Stickley arrives in a huff; DiDi cancelled Mrs. Weller's heart surgery and informed him via sticky note because of the downed system. He berates DiDi in front of Arlene until Dr. James arrives and reminds Stickley that Ellen has extensive lung tumors that would have precluded his procedure anyway. To help Arlene make a decision on her mother-in-law's care, Dr. James calls a "Goals of Care" meeting for later in the day.<br><br>Dr. James addresses the hospital committee about her "aggressive hospice" program and attempts to earmark the revenue it's generating for her research and mouse hospital (which she's set up in the abandoned neo-natal unit). The committee, completely bored, barely listens as Jenna describes the aims of her research until, in her excitement, she accidentally spills hot coffee into Dr. Stickley's lap.<br><br>One of Dr. James' residents, Dr. Cesario, asks for Dawn's assistance in setting up a penicillin drip for a patient. Dawn explains that the system is down and they don't have access to the patient files, so she won't allow him to proceed because the patient's allergies are unknown. In the face of Dawn's steadfast refusal, Dr. Cesario storms off to find Dr. James, who confronts Dawn, believing that Dr. Cesario had performed a skin text to confirm the absence of allergies. When Dr. Cesario admits that he didn't run the test, Dr. James reprimands him in the hall loudly. A vindicated Dawn sits within listening distance and enjoys a snack.<br><br>At Ellen Weller's Goals of Care meeting, Ellen's team of doctors fill Arlene in on a menu of proposed procedures. However, they're unable to give clear answers about survival rates or whether Ellen should elect one procedure over another. Later, Arlene comes clean to Ellen about her son being dead and tells her that there will be no more surgeries -- Ellen is going home. <br><br>Dawn and goes to her 12-week appointment with Patsy where the doctor informs her that she is not pregnant -- she has a blighted ovum. "If your womb were a house," the doctor explains, "it would be fully furnished...everything you need for a life, except there is no life." Dawn returns to the ward and sets up her cello. The patients and staff all pause to listen to her play.<br><br>Dr. James calls Suzi Sasso to discuss getting more hospice suites at Billy Barnes. She's delighted to learn that any open bed -- in Billy Barnes or the entire Mount Palms hospital -- can be converted into a hospice bed.</p></div>
The Seventh Annual Christmas Card Competition
The staff finds itself in an awkward situation when one of Jenna's 'adult' study photos mistakenly makes its way into the Christmas Card Competition. DiDi is tempted by Parker Owens, a visiting doctor. Denya, a patient with terminal cancer, proposes a 'final solution' to a startled Jenna. Patsy and Dawn's relationship comes to a head.
The Revolving Door Admit
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by </b>Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer<b><br>Directed by</b> Howard Deutch<b><br></b><br>Dr. James undergoes a makeover and stuns the staff with her new look: curly hair extensions, a tight-fitting dress and high heels. She gives Dawn discharge orders for Varla Pounder, their infamously potty-mouthed, bipolar patient; Dr. James wants the bed claimed for the hospice program. Dawn warns that Varla is a "high risk discharge" -- if she's readmitted in 30 days or less, the hospital will be fined.<br><br>DiDi's younger half-sister, Sherrie, temps at Billy Barnes, covering for Marguerite. The situation is far from harmonious, as the sisters struggle with their deep-seated resentment of each other.<br><br>Patsy learns that he's won the "Millicent Schwartzman Award for Visionary Service," leading him to act more pompous and self-important than usual. Tension continues to build between him and Dawn, following their break-up. Sherrie uses the discord to her advantage, cozying up to Dawn by siding with her against Patsy.<br><br>DiDi informs Dr. James that they're overwhelmed with new hospice patients -- which Dr. James deems good news: "scatter-beds galore." After DiDi leaves, Dr. James realizes that she left the lid of one of her live mouse crates ajar and the mice have escaped.<br><br>The staff sit down to a potluck lunch, but the good mood is spoiled by Patsy's arrival, as well as Dr. James' pronouncement that Dawn would have made a bad parent and is lucky she's not pregnant. Dr. James, encouraged by Sherrie, badmouths Sherrie and DiDi's irresponsible older sister, whose kids DiDi takes care of. After everyone leaves, DiDi confronts Sherrie about airing their dirty laundry to the group, and warns against her getting close with Dawn because she "has issues." Sherrie refuses to listen; she believes Dawn has "clout" and unlike DiDi, can get her a full-time job.<br><br>Dennis, a security guard, responds to Dawn's call for someone to sit and keep Varla contained while they wait for approval to discharge her. In hopes of impressing Dawn, he tells her he's been promoted, before asking her on a date. Dawn admits she's coming off a "really rough patch" and isn't sure if she's ready to date. However, Dennis's kind response appears to change Dawn's mind.<br><br>After spotting the silhouette of a mouse in one of the overhead lights, Dawn confronts Dr. James, who refuses to believe the mouse is one of hers. She insists Dawn is making things up, and that she could have easily seen a "small rat" or a "large moth" instead.<br><br>Dennis sits in the lounge with Varla, who is worked up and anxious about not being allowed to leave. After observing that Dennis looks like a man with "big balls," she reaches over and grabs his crotch, shouting, "I'm gonna grab your nuts and I'm gonna give them a good licking!" Dawn rushes to his aid, struggling to release Dennis from Varla's vice grip.<br><br>DiDi spots Birdy feeding a mouse toast, prompting DiDi, Sherrie and Dawn to chase the rodent through the ward until it escapes through a crack in the wall. Patsy lectures Dr. James about the inherent health risks of loose mice, and while they argue, Varla undresses and attempts to leave the hospital on her own. She winds up trapped, naked, behind a broken automatic door, and the staff is forced to readmit her to the ER.<br><br>That night, Dr. James leaves a stack of hospice patient pre-certs and re-certs for DiDi to send out "ASAP." DiDi invites Sherrie over for dinner to see their older sister's kids, but Sherrie refuses: "Those kids are whacked." DiDi confronts Sherrie about her bad attitude, and points out that she raised Sherrie when they were growing up. When DiDi steps away to check on a patient, Sherrie takes the hospice certifications and stuffs them in the trash. Dawn catches her and fires Sherrie on the spot.<br><br>When DiDi returns and asks about the hospice paperwork Dawn tells her she mailed it already. She also explains away Sherrie's sudden absence, telling DiDi that her sister wasn't feeling well and decided not to finish out the week. Appreciating Dawn's kindness, DiDi explains that when she said Dawn had issues, she meant "the good kind."</p></div>
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by</b> Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer<b><br>Directed by</b> Howard Deutch<br><br>Dawn arrives for her shift and announces to DiDi that she married the security guard, Dennis Beardman, the previous night. DiDi has no idea how to respond, but ultimately agrees to let Dawn bring cake to the gift shop during DiDi's evening shift so they can celebrate.<br><br>DiDi challenges Dr. James about the low pay she's receiving as hospice liaison. DiDi, who's making a mere 30 cents an hour more, has learned she should be making as much as $10,000 to $15,000 extra in her new role. "I'm giving you ‘til 11 AM today," DiDi says. "Back wages and everything."<br><br>Paul Stickley sends Jenna to the committee room where he and the hospital's legal team confront her with allegations about her hospice program. Because the program has grown so big so quickly, a local paper has accused the hospital of becoming a "death mill." Medicaid has raised multiple red flags with the program and frozen all funds. The legal team demands Dr. James turn over all her files.<br><br>In a panic, Dr. James confronts Suzi Sasso, who hedges on her involvement in rapidly expanding Jenna's hospice program. Suzi leaves in a huff, hissing that Dr. James is a "problem client" and she's cutting her loose.<br><br>Dr. Stickley calls another meeting -- this time, to reveal the charges to Patsy, Dawn and DiDi, as they've been named co-conspirators in the racketeering and kick-back charges brought against the hospital. They can be charged with half million dollars in fines and five years in prison; the hospital will be excluded from participating in the Medicare and Medicaid programs, bringing "this entire hospital to its knees."<br><br>Following the meeting, the staff go into a discharge frenzy, releasing all the patients they've enrolled in hospice. On Dr. James' orders, Dawn and DiDi round up all the hospice files and bring them to her office, where she scrambles to come up with a plan to destroy them because "if you looked at them aggressively, through a distorted lens, you could twist it into maybe building a case that there were some overly-generous admissions." But before she can do anything, the legal team arrives and carts away the files.<br><br>At the end of the day, Patsy drops by the gift shop while Dennis and Dawn cut their celebratory cake. He angrily congratulates Dawn on her "rebound marriage," prompting Dawn to ask whether he was ever attracted to her. Patsy admits he was attracted to parts of her -- specifically her "bottom back" and "top" parts. A fight breaks out between Patsy and Dennis; Dawn is tickled to be the source of it.<br><br>After breaking down in the women's room and pulling out her new hair extensions, Dr. James runs up to the hospital roof with DiDi and Dawn in tow. Jenna jokes that they could all join hands and jump off the roof together, and the earlier tension between the women eases as each keeps her own complicated personal situation in mind. Dr. James apologizes to DiDi and Dawn for failing them and getting them caught up in her hospice scheme; it wasn't her intention to get them in trouble.<br><br>Colleen from hospice comes to the roof to let them know that a patient, Mrs. Lee, is dying. In Mrs. Lee's room, the women look on helplessly, prevented from extreme intervention by her DNR. Dr. James claims that Mrs. Lee's "spirit is hovering" because it doesn't know if it's ready to leave or not. She begins to shake her while Dawn and DiDi massage her legs to keep the blood flowing. Mrs. Lee's heart resumes beating as Dr. James announces that "this one's coming back." Colleen begins to sing "Keep on the Sunny Side," and the others join in as they work to keep Mrs. Lee alive.</p></div>
This Is About Vomit, People.
Season Three Premiere. As Dr. Jenna James looks to move past her hospice scandal, she finds her job threatened by a handsome new doctor and takes immediate action. DiDi is inspired to fight for her union rights, while cutbacks force Patsy to return to floor duty. Dawn questions her marriage and, later, gets some distressing news.
Don't Let It Get In You Or On You
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by </b>Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer<b><br>Directed by</b> Miguel Arteta<br><br>Dawn meets with her kidney doctor to have a dialysis port put into her arm. The doctor asks if she's heard the rumors about the hospital filing for bankruptcy, but she doesn't have any more information than he does.<br>DiDi argues with her sister-in-law Yvette on the phone about moving their mother-in-law, Viv, out of her nursing home. Dr. James arrives and introduces Dr. Rudd; instead of replacing her, he'll be joining her staff.<br><br>The Billy Barnes staff scrambles to take care of an influx of patients -- passengers from a cruise ship that have been infected with a neurovirus that's caused severe diarrhea. Dr. James connects with a particular passenger, Mrs. Stein, who reveals that she has pancreatic cancer and that the cruise was a gift to herself. When Dr. James takes the woman's arm to check vitals, she spots a tattooed number from a concentration camp.<br><br>Yvette arrives in the middle of the chaos to confront DiDi about moving their mother-in-law into DiDi's home. DiDi explains that she didn't have a choice; when she visited, she found Viv wandering the halls unbathed with her robe hanging open.<br><br>Dr. James and her residents meet with Mrs. Stein and tell her about a new drug in clinical trials that could help her pancreatic cancer. Though severe side effects are possible, Mrs. Stein agrees to try it out, as she feels that she's always been lucky.<br><br>Dawn finds Sammy, Dennis's mentally-challenged uncle, hanging out with Patsy in his office. At first, Dawn wants nothing to do with Patsy, but they soon find themselves connecting over their bond with Sammy. They congratulate themselves for getting past their differences for a cause bigger than themselves. <br><br>Yvette calls in DiDi's husband Darnell and his brother Waylan to discuss their stepmother's care. Darnell explains that he set up a nanny cam so that he and DiDi can check in on Viv throughout the day, but when he opens the feed, they discover she's fallen out of bed.<br><br>Though Mrs. Stein has only been on the experimental cancer drug for a short time, she starts suffering complications. Dr. James remains positive that the drug will work and is stunned when she goes to check on the woman and finds her dead. <br><br>Marguerite opens an envelope containing three letters notifying her, Patsy and Dawn that their jobs will be terminated in 60 days. She's shocked to learn that the rumors about Mount Palms shutting down are true.<br>DiDi finds Dawn down at dialysis with a patient and is shocked to discover that Dawn is a patient herself. DiDi asks if anyone else knows about Dawn's condition. Dawn explains only her husband Dennis knows, and that she doesn't want Dr. James to find out.</p></div>
No, I Don't Want a F***ing Smiley Face
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by</b> Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer<b><br>Directed by</b> Miguel Arteta<br><br>Sing-Sing inmate Crystal Buff is brought into Billy Barnes. Dennis is warned by her prison guard that the patient is a pathological liar and has an extensive history of escape. He handcuffs her to the bed, then takes away her prosthetic legs. Meanwhile, DiDi checks in on Birdy Lamb, who's battling pneumonia.<br><br>Dr. Alice Marvel meets with Dr. Jenna James and asks to speak on a panel at Jenna's upcoming symposium where a prestigious prize will be awarded. Dr. James is reluctant to allow any competition at the event, though she enjoys everyone vying for her attention.<br><br>Patsy begs Dawn to pretend that she's his fiancé. His mother is in town, and he never told her that he and Dawn broke up. Dawn agrees to the charade and finds herself enjoying the fantasy -- a little too much for Patsy's taste. When he gets up to get his mother a glass of water, Dawn blurts out that she has end-stage kidney disease and winds up sobbing in the woman's lap.<br>Jenna confronts Dr. Stickley about rumors that the hospital is closing. He claims not to know anything, then tries to persuade Jenna to allow Drs. Marvel and Killigrew to present at her symposium. Jenna continues to refuse, calling the two women "quacks" and "tar babies."<br><br>DiDi and her family admit her mother-in-law Vivian to Billy Barnes, following a stroke and a concussion at the main hospital. Yvette, DiDi's sister-in-law, still believes that DiDi made a big deal out of nothing and that Vivian should have never been removed from her nursing home.<br><br>Patsy confronts Dawn about getting carried away with his mother -- he's under the impression that her kidney disease is made up. Dennis then confronts Dawn about missing lunch with him, angry that she spent the time with Patsy's mother instead.<br><br>Yvette flies into a rage when she learns that she and Waylan are expected to foot half the bill for Vivian's extended care. While she claims to love her father-in-law's white "trophy wife," she refuses to give up $24,000 of her family's money for the woman's care. The others try to explain that there is no other viable option, but the explanation falls on deaf ears. Yvette demands that DiDi quit her job to care for Vivian, as she's the one who pulled her out of the government-funded nursing home in the first place.<br>Drs. Marvel and Killigrew confront Dr. James about not allowing them on her panel, accusing her of trying to "monopolize the vagina." They continue to tear into Jenna, calling her greedy and accusing the symposium of being little more than a vanity play after the hospice debacle. <br><br>Patsy's mom gives Dawn a teddy bear and an orchid, which serves as the final straw for Patsy. He pulls Dawn aside and confronts her about continuing what he believes is a charade. Seeing them together, Dennis demands to know if Dawn still wants to be with Patsy. Dr. James comes to Dawn's rescue, demanding that Patsy stop bullying Dawn in light of her "special circumstances," letting the cat out of the bag in front of everyone. <br><br>With the staff distracted, Crystal Buff takes the opportunity to escape the hospital. Dennis spots her shimmying down a sheet through a window and runs to catch her. The staff watches in awe as Crystal successfully rolls through four lanes of busy highway traffic.</p></div>
Am I Still Me?
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by</b> Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer<b><br>Directed by</b> Miguel Arteta<br><br>Dr. Jenna James arrives at the hospital, smartly dressed for her symposium that afternoon. She believes she's a shoo-in for the coveted Helen Tillman prize for geriatrics that will be given that evening.<br><br>After reviewing schedule updates and changes, Patsy announces to Dawn and DiDi that he's joined an all-male cheerleading league -- because, he explains, he's gay.<br><br>Dr. James visits with Birdy Lamb on her rounds. DiDi informs her that Birdy's health continues to decline due to pneumonia, and she's been "out of it" as a result. Dr. James then visits with DiDi's mother-in-law Viv and informs the family that Viv has two major infections, including a UTI she fears will go septic.<br><br>Dr. Pippa Moore, a British doctor, arrives for the symposium. Dr. James offers to take her on a tour of the ward, and the two women find that they have a good deal in common. Meanwhile, Dr. Moore's nurse, Denise Flixster, meets Dawn at the buffet. The two women bond over their various medical issues, recent breakdowns and difficult working relationships with their respective bosses.<br><br>Darnell Ortley and his family worry about Viv's declining health and insist to DiDi that they need to get Viv into boarding care before she picks up any more germs. DiDi argues that she's at risk of losing her job and her medical license if she goes against Dr. James' orders.<br><br>Jenna calls her husband Richard to share her excitement about the symposium, and he informs her that her mother just died. Jenna takes a solemn walk through the ward and is confronted by Dr. Stickley. He tells her that he's been trying in vain to reach her -- they're meeting to discuss ward closures, including Billy Barnes.<br><br>Denise introduces herself to Dr. Rudd, telling him that she finds him "delicious" and that she's game for anything sexual he might like to do. She writes down her hotel and tells him she's free that evening if he's interested.<br><br>Waylan and Yvette ask Dr. James to release Viv, but Dr. James refuses, claiming that to do so would be "elder abuse." DiDi "catches" the trio in Dr. James' office and promises to talk sense into her brother- and sister-in-law. Back in Viv's room, DiDi congratulates them for a job well done -- they should be able to sneak Viv out without DiDi losing her job.<br><br>At her symposium, Dr. James learns that Dr. Moore is also up for the Helen Tillman award -- for her work "in" geriatric stool. Jenna looks at Moore's work and complains to Dawn that the doctor stole from her research.<br><br>During dialysis, Dawn's doctor tells her she's thriving. While transplants get all the glory, he says, Dawn has proven to be an ideal patient for dialysis. After he leaves, Dawn rips the port out of her arm. She heads back up to extended care where she spots Denise going down on Dr. Rubb in an office.<br><br>After confronting DiDi for removing her mother-in-law from the ward, Dr. James finds Dr. Rudd at the symposium reception and puts her hand down his pants. He tries to explain that he can't get an erection because of his other recent encounter, but Jenna misunderstands and thinks he's not interested in her.<br><br>Alone in the ward, Birdy hallucinates a version of herself standing in the doorway telling her to leave. DiDi joins Birdy a short while later and, realizing that she's dying, hands her one of her coveted oranges and comforts her as the old woman takes her last breaths.<br><br>As the Helen Tillman prize is announced, Dr. James strides confidently towards the podium, only to hear Dr. Moore's name called. After the award is handed out, Jenna accuses Dr. Moore of stealing her work and vows to appeal the decision.</p></div>
Please Partake Of A Memorial Orange
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by</b> Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer<b><br>nDirected by</b> Miguel Arteta<br></p><p>Dawn welcomes Dr. James back from her trip to Mexico, though Jenna is evasive about details. Varla Pounder wakes up in Billy Barnes after a week's stay, with an unfamiliar young woman looming over her. The woman introduces herself as Varla's estranged daughter, Marla, who's been searching for her mother for the last six years.<br><br>nDennis approaches DiDi about serving as Dawn's kidney advocate, though DiDi isn't certain she wants the job. Dawn, bag of baby carrots in hand, insists she's taking care of herself but milks DiDi's sympathy for all it's worth.<br>nDr. Rudd apologizes for taking advantage of Dr. James and treating her like an object. He admits to Jenna that he's a recovering sex addict and unwittingly insults her while explaining the details of his condition.<br><br>nDawn brings Varla her medication, a cocktail of anti-psychotic drugs. Marla asks Dawn to get Varla some apple juice to take them with, and after she leaves, Marla disposes of the pills, calling them "poison." She explains to Varla that "psychiatry is a criminal enterprise" and promises to help her mother recover without drugs. "I can help you clear," Marla says, referring to her Scientologist faith.<br><br>nDr. James' husband Richard arrives at the hospital to meet Jenna for lunch. He chats with DiDi who asks about their recent trip to Mexico. Richard reacts with surprise; there was no trip. Furthermore, he's also not aware of the hospice scandal which DiDi reveals has been a major stressor for Dr. James. Over lunch, Richard confronts Jenna about her lies, bewildered when she insists he's been the distant one, not her.<br><br>nDawn sneaks junk food in the break room but is caught by Marguerite. Dawn insists she can eat whatever she wants because she's getting a new kidney, then calls Marguerite a "pussy" for caring. Later, Dawn meets with her doctor, who tells her it's great she's been so proactive in her search for a live kidney. Dawn needs all the help she can get, he explains, as her numbers have collapsed. Dawn is shocked to hear that she's really dying.<br><br>nDr. James finds Dr. Rudd and explains that she too objectified him. "I think for the moment that I just thought that you were f**kable." She turns away and finds herself face to face with Richard, who's overheard the entire conversation. He confronts Jenna about having an affair. She insists nothing happened between her and Dr. Rudd, but given her recent dishonesty, Richard doesn't believe her.<br><br>nWith Marla sound asleep, Varla hobbles over and attempts to strangle her. Marla startles awake and attempts to strangle Varla back. Dr. James and the others rush in to break the women apart. Marla is wheeled away in a neck brace following the altercation; Varla is injected with a sedative.<br><br>nDawn finds DiDi preparing for Birdy's memorial at the monthly mass hospital patient service. She begs DiDi to make a statement about her as she really is dying now. DiDi refuses, feeling to do so would be inappropriate. When she gets up to speak about Birdy, Dawn interrupts with her own troubles and begs the crowd for a kidney. Jenna gets up, and based on a comment from Richard, asks the group to help evaluate her soul. DiDi, Dawn and Jenna argue over whose turn it is to speak before Jenna "selflessly" offers to give one of her kidneys to Dawn. When the women return to Billy Barnes, they discover the ward has finally been shut down. A security guard informs them that all patients will be discharged within 48 hours.</p></div>
Reduced To Eating Boiled Magazines and Book Paste
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by</b> Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer<b><br>n Directed by</b> Miguel Arteta</p><p>In preparation to picket Billy Barnes' closure, DiDi gives a scab nurse a tour of the ward. DiDi explains that they've been closed for about a month and that while their patients have dwindled, the ward remains open while the union sues the hospital.<br><br>nDawn shares her delight that Dr. James is an ideal match to be her kidney donor. After Dawn leaves, Dr. James quietly takes a call from "a Bengali Transplant Service," from whom she's seeking a kidney so that she doesn't have to donate hers to Dawn. In the break room, DiDi catches Dawn dipping a bagel into a tub of ice cream, continuing to sabotage her health.<br><br>nSister Lily Claire from St. Edwin's Memorial arrives to discuss a new position for Dr. James. They are excited to welcome Jenna onto their staff, as they hope her clinical research will raise their hospital's profile. Dr. James turns down Sister Lily Claire's offer to bring her nurses with her, claiming that they wish to stay on at Mount Palms in other capacities.<br>nLater, Dr. James and Dawn meet with Dawn's nephrologist in order to discuss the transplant. The doctor praises Dawn for being so proactive in her search for a donor and finding a candidate even before she knew she needed one. Dr. James inquires further about Dawn's sudden turn for the worse and realizes that Dawn sabotaged her health on purpose. Livid, Jenna rescinds her offer of a kidney.<br><br>nDr. James finds DiDi in a picket line and tells her that Dawn has been lying about the severity of her kidney disease. When Dawn insists that she could be dead in four months, Dr. James explains that Dawn could reverse the damage she's done if she just had a little self-respect. Dawn admits that she has none.<br><br>nAfter picketing, DiDi and Marguerite bring two new patients onto the ward, including a homeless woman who needs a bath. Dr. James balks, feeling that DiDi's legal battle with the hospital is holding them all hostage. Dr. James admits that the job has been so tough on her that she drives home in the far right lane in case "the panic attack becomes a heart attack."<br><br>nFollowing a group hug between the Billy Barnes staff, Dawn heats up water for tea in the break room microwave. However, the microwave explodes and starts a fire on the ward. The bare-bones staff rush to evacuate their patients as the fire spreads. DiDi struggles in vain to get the sprinklers to work. The fire department is unable to contain the blaze, and it spreads to the rest of the hospital.<br><br>nA few weeks later, Dr. James and Dawn lay side-by-side waiting to be wheeled into surgery. DiDi, Patsy, Dennis and Sammy see the women off. Before they're brought in, Dr. James tells Dawn, "There is no justice, but there is mercy because that's what we can give to each other."</p></div>