Directed by Ken Whittingham
Written by Doug Ellin
Trapped between a trip to Cannes and volatile studio head Harvey Weingard, E can't even enjoy some pampering at The Shave without Ari calling to jump on his back: "You sold a movie you weren't in a position to sell." E assures Ari he'll sever the deal with Harvey. Hanging up, Ari meets M. Night Shyamalan in person to pick up his latest screenplay, which the paranoid filmmaker expects him to read that night. At Drama's condo, the elder Chase has hatched a plan to schmooze the mayor of Beverly Hills into annexing his condo into 90210 territory ? but he needs Vince to lend some star wattage to his carousing with the mayor, who hopes a touch of celebrity will raise his odds with the ladies. Meeting Harvey for dinner, E starts to see his own odds ? for survival ? slipping through the cracks as the exec berates the waiter and contemplates fighting a nearby guest.
Restaurants aren't treating Ari well either. When a Morton's valet accidentally gives his car ? along with the Shyamalan script ? to a stranger, Ari tracks down his ride using GPS. A 140 mph speeding ticket lands him in jail on the way home, but at least he has plenty of time to read. Out for drinks at Winston's, Drama manages to hook the mayor up with a hottie without Vince's aid but receives bad news when the bouncer says she's a tranny. The good news? The mayor doesn't care. With Drama's zip code all but updated, he shifts his attention to the awkward ballet unfolding around Harvey, who's come along with E to "celebrate the sale." Neither Vince nor E has the cojones to break off the deal, especially when Harvey works himself into a lather over a botched drink order. As the bouncer drags him out of the bar, Drama ? elated in his victory ? steps in to do the deed: "You can't buy the movie. Sorry bro."
The next day Ari, haggard but prepared, meets Shyamalan in his office only to find the filmmaker has rewritten the script. "Here, read it," he tells Ari. "I'll wait." It seems Drama has wasted the previous evening as well when Turtle shows him the latest gossip online: a video of the mayor escorting his "lady" to the car, which ends in a Britney-esque crotch shot ? and two nasty surprises. "Don't know how much longer he'll be mayor," Turtles remarks.