Shady as F**k Recap

When episode 4 ended, Issa?s high of completing a successful career day at the middle school was brought down by the kids finding video of her rapping ?Broken Pu**y at the club. Let?s get into episode 5!

Viral - Issa?s performance of ?Broken Pussy? is circulating around the Middle Schoolers and Lawrence is cracking up as she freaks out about it. He tells her that they?ll move past it quick. WRONG. The next week, the kids are rapping it back at her and creating memes.

Thirst - Molly and Chris (her dude from The League app) wake up in bed. Seems their fling is going well but he needs to leave so he doesn?t show up to work in his Walk of Shame clothes. She suggests that maybe next time, he can just leave one of his suits at her place. CHILE SLOW YOUR ROLL. The nervous chuckle he responds with says he agrees with me. Molly gotta tuck her heart back up her shirt because it is all out in the open on that sleeve. She invites him to her coworker Diane?s engagement party. You know, the Asian one she shares an office with who is getting married to a Black man named Jamal. Mhhmm her. Chris says he?s not sure he can make it, which is code for ?nope. Ain?t gon be able to do it.? She doesn?t take no for an answer, though, and he says he?ll go.

Fix It - Issa gives herself an encouraging rap and heads to Molly?s office to vent about the video being out in these kiddie streets. She wants her bestie to go all lawyer on whoever posted the video but she doesn?t know who it is. She goes to see Daniel, hoping he can get his Inspector Gadget on and he promises that he has her back.

Lawrence and his boy, Chad, are grabbing some food at Roscoe?s Chicken and Waffles (hey. Blackness!). The subject turns to marriage and Chad is ready to settle down and marry his new girlfriend. He asks Lawrence why he hasn?t popped the question to Issa yet and he says he needs to get his shit together first. Why not multitask and do both?

Wrong One - Molly calls Jared. What does she wants? To find out if his brother, who was at the club on Broken Pu**y night, might know who posted the video. When Molly?s office mate walks in and sees her on the phone, she asks ?Is that Chris?? WELL SHIT. Jared hears it and Molly to stumble over her words awkwardly.

Say No - Issa takes Daniel to the studio and he can?t find out who posted the video either. He invites her in and she joins him, knowing that bad decisions are made of these. Inside, there?s a crew hanging out, smoking and drinking.

Molly is getting dressed for the party when Chris texts her that he?s stuck at work. She says she can wait for him instead of meeting him at the party and I wanna tell our girl to take a gulp of water cuz she?s looking mad parched now. This is the man who BEGRUDGINGLY agreed to go to this shindig with her, and now he?s flaking. But she isn?t picking up the hints he?s dropping. Her dog Flava Flav (and his gold chain, which is hilarious) steps over her like ?girl??

Trash - At the studio, some garbage rapper is in the booth and the only folks in the room who realize his rhymes are garbage are Issa and Daniel. He is definitely no Dylan and he spits no hot fiyah.

Cracked - Molly is at Diane?s engagement party, looking hella disappointed to be there by herself. It doesn?t help when Jamal and Diane?s corny a*ses tell her about how they might walk down the aisle to the song ?Black and Yellow.? Just then, Chris shows up, looking all delicious in a tux. Molly peeks up instantly and when one of her coworkers asks if this is her new boyfriend, Chris says ?YUP.? AAWWWWWW LEMME FIND OUT MOLLY DON SNAGGED A BOO. On the other hand, these are convos we gotta have first. Don?t be outchea making things official without my knowledge. And he wasn?t. When they are alone, she asks him if he meant it and he said ?No? so quick that my feelings got hurt by proxy. I was butthurt by association for Molly. ?I was just trying to help? I just got the sense that you really needed to win.?

WHEN I TELL YOU MOLLY?S FACE WAS CRACKED? Like mosaic tiles. Have you ever witnessed someone?s ego being dropkicked through the goalposts of life? Now you have. Just watch Molly?s face. She is moving way fast for him, and the lines of communication got crossed. She tells him to leave, seeing that she has, once again, failed at this dating thing.

Parched - Lawrence is at work when Tasha from the bank shows up. Her ti**ies are hoisted up so high they might be touching her chin. She didn?t come half-stepping and she coyly asks him if he wants to come grab some food with her. Ma?am, tuck in your dehydration. He is a taken man! She?s gonna make me start call her Boundariless Bonny. Our boy Law, lets her know he has a girlfriend. Egg on her face. And good for him!

Turn Back - It?s getting late and the Hip Hop Dalmatians leave the studio. Issa gets up to leave right behind them and Daniel tells her to hang out some more and drink with him. Because Team Bad Decisions is never short of executive board members, she accepts. Daniel accidentally spills a drink on Issa but it gives them a chance to reminisce back to high school when her rap name was MissTerious. He tells her to get in the booth and drop these lukewarm bars right quick.

At Diane?s party, Molly is drinking her dating misery away. Meanwhile, Issa is at the studio behind a mic as Daniel stares at her mesmerized. You got one girl who can?t seem to get one man committed to her for more than a day. And you got another whose long-term boyfriend actively turns down another woman who is offering her pannies on a platter, while her crush of 12 years is dedicating an evening to seeing her pursue her not-so-secret love. Opposite ends of a confused compass.

Hustling Backwards - Jared is home when a knock comes at his door. He lives in the hood, and there?s bars on his door. He was surprised to see Molly on the other side of those bars, standing there, drunk and offering herself up to him. He is about to close the door on her when she says she needs to use his bathroom. MOLLY, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS.

At the studio, Daniel is rapping Issa?s words back to her as they listen to it and you can see her blush for days. This is such a romantic date. Except it?s not supposed to be. He asks why they never made it work and she reminds him about how he only wanted to be friends with benefits then. ?Maybe you?re right. Maybe I wasn?t ready then. What if I?m ready now?? ANDDD then he kisses her. It then turns into a full-fledge makeout session. And then clothes fly off. AND THEN THEY MAKE THE SEX.

This scene was so hot. Between the lighting and the angles, and sometimes all you saw was the glittering of Issa?s gold necklace, I was blushing like hell myself. Flushing positively scarlet. Whew. Black surely is beautiful.

And I just want to take this time to thank the producers and directors and crew of Insecure for allowing us two episodes out of 5 so far this season where we were treated to full back of the a*ses of these scrumptious men. Thank you for the eye candy! Whew. My smut pot is full.

So back to it. At Jared?s, Molly lies down on his couch, unable to fully function with her drunk a*s. He puts a bucket next to her (because: hangovers are real) and covers her with a blanket. Aawww.

In the bathroom at the studio, Issa is in her bra, and she goes from the afterglow to the guilt of what she just did. She looks at herself in the mirror and you can tell that the severity of what she just did hit her. Daniel is knocked out on the couch and she hurriedly puts on her clothes and leaves.

Shit.

But first, HIGH FIVE, for doing him into deep slumber. If you gon do something, do it right. And now, lemme say GIRL WHAT DID YOU DO?

One interesting thing was the parallels of the two pairs of people at the end of the show, with one of them ending up on a couch as another removed themselves from the situation. Molly ending up on Jared?s couch as he makes sure she?s ok before going to his room. Daniel ending up on the studio couch as Issa makes sure he?s asleep before she bounces.

Molly betrayed Jared?s growing feelings for her as she chose Chris over him. Well, no as she chose a college degree over him. Issa betrayed Lawrence?s settled feelings for her as she chose to sleep with Daniel. The friends have opposing problems but they handled them in similarly terrible ways.

What happens next? Will Molly realize that she made a mistake? Will Issa confess her glaring mistake to her man? We shall see.

? Luvvie Ajayi