Written by Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer
Directed by Howard Deutch
Head Nurse Patsy De La Serda hangs posters around the ward for the "Make Someone Happy" campaign -- an initiative where the hospital approaches patients as "customers," a la cruise ships and Disneyland. An elderly man, Leonard Butler, gets dropped off for his weekly visit with his girlfriend. Birdie. Dawn tells DiDi that she had a good date last night and believes it's the start of something serious.
DiDi receives a letter informing her that Patsy filed a complaint after she told him, "You didn't do so badly for a big fat fairy." She meets with her union rep, Paula, to discuss the matter. DiDi explains she was just trying to lighten the mood after a difficult patient, but Paula indicates the matter is grave. They'll need to arrange a meeting with Patsy so DiDi can make a formal apology.
Dawn spots Birdie going down on Leonard after DiDi unknowingly put them in the lounge together. Refusing to separate them, Dawn orders DiDi to do it before Dr. James spots them.
Dawn thanks Patsy for putting her in a cab after their date and asks if he had a good time. Patsy, clearly uncomfortable, ignores her inquiries and asks to go over Dawn's review instead. He explains he's going to deliver feedback in the form of a "shit sandwich" but is "struggling to find Dawn's bread."
Dr. James asks the nurses if they'd like to participate in her husband's charity raffle to benefit Sri Lanka. Over her shoulder, Dawn spots Leonard and Birdie going at it again. To keep Jenna from spotting them, she offers to buy $300 worth of tickets. She doesn't have the money on her, so she promises to pay up next week.
A conflict resolution strategy meeting is held to discuss DiDi's remarks to Patsy. Dawn attends to take notes. When Paula asks Patsy to clarify whether the word "fairy" was offensive to him because he's homosexual or simply because it was inappropriate, he breaks into a sweat and refuses to answer. After DiDi finally apologizes sincerely, Patsy asks for 24 hours to decide whether or not to accept. Dawn grows increasingly concerned when Patsy won't confirm his heterosexuality.
Later, Dawn confronts Patsy about his odd behavior, and accuses him of avoiding her. "I'm not even an open-faced shit sandwich, I'm just some side order of a crap!" Patsy apologizes, explaining he's under a lot of stress and wants to talk to her, but first they need to deep-clean the entire ward -- two cases of C. diff were found in the ventilator suite.
While Didi and Dawn prepare for the deep-clean, Dawn admits that she gave Patsy a blow-job on their date. DiDi is incredulous, especially because she believes Patsy is gay. When Dawn claims his desire was sincere, DiDi offers her some advice: "Men will put their dicks in anything, at any time."
Jenna puts a stop to the deep-clean and openly mocks Patsy and his "Disney" rules. Patsy overhears and confronts Jenna about her undermining of his authority. She accuses him of the same, and tells him she's spent the day dealing with "inappropriate sexual relationships" in the ward. Patsy blanches; he's unaware of Leonard and Birdie's antics and thinks she's referring to his tryst with Dawn.