Never Wait for Seconds
Written by Larry David and Jeff Schaffer
Directed by Robert B. Weide
Caesar, a handyman, fixes a humming coming from the lights in Larry office. Larry offers a tip in gratitude, but Caesar refuses. The handyman’s amenableness turns calculated when he calls in favor after favor, which Larry feels obligated to fulfill. He’s “flipped the tip,” so Larry, the would-be tipper, is indebted to him, the would-be tip recipient.
Larry and Bridget are still going strong, as is her son Eddie’s rude behavior. Bridget mentions she’s considering sending him to boarding school, and Larry (eager to get the kid out of the way) immediately offers to put in a good word.
In an effort to start fresh, Marilyn, Funkhouser, Larry and Bridget go to a buffet brunch. Feeling celebratory, Funkhouser orders an expensive bottle of champagne. Things quickly sour between Marilyn and Larry, when he notes her excessive use of ketchup. She accidentally spills some on her blouse and decides to leave, taking Funkhouser with her and landing Larry with the check. One good thing out of the brunch: while waiting for food, Larry defends a man who cuts the buffet line to get a second helping of potatoes. As it turns out, the man in question is a devout Muslim and well-connected within the community. Moved Larry would come to his defense on the buffet line, he decides to help the comedian revoke the fatwa.
Larry meets with admissions representatives at Pembleton Academy. As they consider accepting Eddie, they’re curious to know the nature of his relationship with Bridget and whether he sees a long-term future with her. Larry assures them, “I can give you nine happy months, then I can give you years and years of being miserable, but we’ll be together.” The admissions reps are mollified. Larry asks one additional favor: permission for Caesar and his family to use the Pembleton swimming pool. Unfortunately, the handyman’s son, “Little Caesar,” leave the pool “befouled.” The admissions reps inform Bridget, due to the conditions of the pool, they’ve decided to deny Eddie’s application.
The Muslim gentleman Larry advocated for makes inquiries into Larry’s character. He interviews people from Larry’s past encounters (everyone from Denise Handicapped to Michael J. Fox) and, in all cases, sees Larry’s side of things. He takes Larry before a panel of muftis, who agree to recommend the Ayatollah rescind the fatwa.