Messy as F**k Recap


At the end of episode 1, Issa and Molly had just made up after Issa humiliated her bestie by singing a rap dedicated to her broken love pocket at an open mic.

Let’s jump into episode 2 of Insecure!

Ignore - Issa is in Molly’s bathroom mirror spitting a lukewarm 16 bars about whether she wants her man or not. The besties go grab some food and talk about broken pu**y fixing and whatnot when Molly gets a phone call from Lawrence. Why is he calling her? Well, cuz his bum ass is sitting at home being ignored by his woman. He calls one of his boys who is prospering as he’s making butt prints in the couch and you can tell when someone has been outgrown by their squad.

Fix It - Operation Fix Broken Pu**y is on and the girls go get their nails done and Issa says that maybe she wants a dude who thinks the answer to the question of what he wants for breakfast is “that pu**y.” HIGH FIVE TO THAT, GIRL. So what those dating apps do? OkCupid is gutter dudes. Tinder is where you get a f**k buddy. On another app, a dude Molly met ended up dumping her because she never went to the beach growing up. The field is barren and she says “You gotta f**k a lot of frogs to get a good frog.” Molly is going to get her hair done and then a vajacial (facial for vagina), forcing Issa to head home to face Bummy Bob. Except she doesn’t.

Rite Fight - Issa heads to Rite Aid, where Lawrence is picking up belated birthday swag for her. ANDDD he sees her buying a 6 pack of panties, which lets him know that she ain’t planning on coming home. He starts using his outside voice and she bounces with her Hanes draws in hand and new toothbrush. Although, she adds a dash of trifling when she comes back to Lawrence to ask for use of his discount card. Just messy AF.

Molly comes back home and finds Issa on her couch. She’s feeling guilty about kissing Daniel and she really doesn’t wanna deal with hapless Harry. This plan of her being the giver of no f**ks is failing, cuz she’s on her BFF’s couch, playing hideout, having to borrow clothes so she won’t go to work in the same Prince (shoutout) tshirt she’s been rocking.

No Plan - The next day, Issa shows up to work with a power walk to match the designer power suit she borrowed from Molly. She’s gonna wing the presentation she’s supposed to be working on for the kids, and shuts down suggestions from her coworker. Well, one of them was for the kids to do community service by picking up trash. Ummmm that’s a chain gang and Issa rebukes every bit of it.

Issa’s idea is to expose the kids to “the arts.” What arts? She’s not sure. The team is not impressed and what she thought would make her white coworkers perk up makes them go “is that it?” Ain’t no budget, plan on making it happen or mission. Back to the drawing board. She apologizes to her boss, who tells her that if she doesn’t wanna work, maybe she shouldn’t work there. At work, Molly’s coworkers pat her on the back but turn to Diane about her pending wedding. She’s BIG salty.

Plan B - A butthurt Lawrence trashes the birthday stuff he got for Issa, and his Blood (the gang, not kinfolk) neighbor asks if he’s ok. Because thugs can pick up on emotions too. Lawrence gets advice from Thug Yoda about how he probably just needs to step his game up, because he looks like he ain’t doing a damb thing for Issa. Thuggish Ruggish Bone uses himself as an example, and how his daughter (who is standing there with him) made him a better man. Even though, he still thinks spelling out a whole sentence of cuss words shields her from his crassness. His advice: “Bling your shit up. But if it don’t work out, I got bitches.” Cuz real Gs always have a plan B.

Speaking of plan B, Issa and her coworker get together and read the surveys the kids filled out on what they want. They realize that maybe they should just take the kids out their immediate neighborhood. OOO and while they’re there, they can get to work so a beach cleanup. That’s not too close to chain gang-like.

Fail - Molly is on a date at a wine bar with a dude who seems to be normal. All is well and they leave the bar. He hugs her and then asks her if she wants to make the sex with him and she goes OFF. “I didn’t break my pu**y. Niggas like YOU broke my pu**y.” His wack ass walks off and it’s another fail in the books for Molly.

Breakup Bae - Issa is at work and she gets a text from Lawrence asking if she’s coming home. In front of the bathroom mirror, she has a full convo with reflection bae breaking up with him. “You know I’ma take my DVDs.” “Don’t nobody want your Steve Harvey box set.” You know. The real things that go into consideration when two lives have to go their separate ways. But this isn’t easy, as she gets to the part where she tells herself “I love you too” in his voice and the magnitude dawns on her.

Hope - Molly is in sweats walking her dog, looking rejected and dejected when she hears “Broken Pu**y” and it’s the guy from the club the other night. He puts a smile on her face. AW SNAP. Issa gets home and the place is dark. Shiftless Samson is in the bed as she walks in. He tells her he has an interview the next day and she apologizes for ignoring him. They share a laugh because of Thug Yoda spelling an entire sentence so he wouldn’t cuss in front of his daughter.

Could homeboy from the club be Molly’s future? Is Issa gonna work it out with Lawrence or is she truly checked out? I just want Laid Off Luke to get a lining one of these days. Hope isn’t lost.

— Luvvie Ajayi