The Cap Table
Written by Carson Mell
Directed by Mike Judge
Jared shows up at the Hacker Hostel bearing a bottle of champagne and congratulations for Richard -- he’s inspired by Richard’s ability to say “no” to the $10 million his boss Gavin Belson offered for Pied Piper. Richard wants to give Jared a chance, but Erlich kicks him out just before introducing a stripper, Mochachino, in celebration of their new business. Mochachino spends most of her time with Big Head, who seems uncomfortable with the situation. Richard gets stuck paying Mochachino.
Richard and Erlich meet with Peter Gregory, who expects the guys to present their business plan. He asks for the cap table, investment deck, business plan, and other relevant paperwork, but Richard is empty-handed. Richard assumed he was just picking up a $200,000 check, but Peter tells him to come back in 48 hours with an air-tight business plan, strategy, and three-year P&L. Afterward, Erlich tells Richard he needs to learn to be a “complete asshole” in order to figure out the company’s direction.
At the Hacker Hostel, Richard calls Jared for help with the business plan -- a move that doesn’t please Erlich at all. Jared conducts interviews with Gilfoyle, Dinesh, and Big Head about their roles in the company. Gilfoyle does system architecture, networking and security; Dinesh writes code, especially in Java; and Big Head agrees with Jared that he’s a master of nothing specific, sort of a jack of all trades. Gilfoyle keeps going on about the pointlessness of Big Head, who overhears what he says a couple of times.
Big Head goes missing, and Richard finds him in San Jose with Mochachino. Big Head says he’s leaving the Valley because there’s nothing for him to do on Pied Piper. Richard decides, however, that Big Head can stay, but only just after it’s too late: Gavin Belson offered Big Head a promotion and more money, in retaliation because Richard took Jared. Big Head warns Richard of Hooli’s plan to use the Pied Piper prototype to build a competitor algorithm call Nucleus. Richard finishes his Peter Gregory presentation and arrives at the bank with his $200,000 check, but he can’t deposit it because, as it turns out, Pied Piper isn’t a registered corporation.