Gina: Week 5

Kate meets Paul at the train station to pick up Rosie's things and gives her condolences, again, for his father. Paul says it meant a lot to him to have her at the funeral; they felt like a family again. When she agrees, Paul blurts out that he'd like them to try again but Kate stops him: She's seeing someone. At his session with Gina, Paul thanks her for the orchid she sent. He talks about the funeral, observing that women are good at loss, but "men don't have a f**king clue." Gina notes he's trying to figure out how to grieve for his father. Paul tries to talk about his limitations in helping his patients, but Gina presses him to continue about the funeral. Paul is disgusted that he learned more about his father at the service than he did from actually knowing him — that the man did free surgery in Bolivia and made Paul the executor of his estate, leaving him half of a small brewery he co-owned in Minnesota. Paul berates himself for not knowing his father when he was a child — or an adult. He tells Gina about their last moments together, embarrassed that he ended up talking "at" his father about his own problems, as he slipped. Gina wonders if it felt like his father had been waiting for Paul to visit before he died. Paul dismisses the idea, spiraling into generalities about parenthood and families but Gina demands he speak specifically about his father. She asks about the watch, suggesting that his father wore it hoping Paul would take it as a memento. Paul says he thinks he waited until his father couldn't talk anymore so he wouldn't have to hear him say he loved him — because if he loved him and yet didn't give him the attention he needed as a child, then love is meaningless. Gina insists that love may be painful, but without it we're untethered. She tells Paul he may not have had the father he needed, but maybe he can be that father to himself now, and to his children. Paul leaves to meet Alex Sr. at his request. The man offers to drop the case against Paul but only if Paul writes a letter (that he promises not to show anyone) admitting his culpability in Alex's death.