Written by: Paul Simms
Directed by: Jamie Babbit
After bungling yet another coffee order, Hannah pulls Ray aside to tell him she's been hired to write for GQ, for a new section called Field Guide to the Urban Man. Ray doubts the likelihood of GQ hiring Hannah to be a staff writer and pushes her to reveal who is sponsoring what is clearly an advertorial. She admits Neiman Marcus is the benefactor. "Do you think I'm f*cking excited?" she barks at him. "Do you think that I think this is the best use of my literary voice and my myriad talents?"
The following morning, Ray calls Marnie to "check in," looking to make sure that their sexual dalliance hasn't affected their friendship. Marnie reminds him that they weren't friends to begin with and asks if he really cares about what's going on in her life. Ray insists that he's just trying to follow "the protocols of a gentleman and a squire" before giving up and admitting that he doesn't actually care about what's going on in her life. After hanging up, he calls back immediately to apologize, saying that he does truly care. Marnie dares him to prove it.
Hannah is feeling lost and out of place during her first day at GQ until a friendly fellow coworker, Joe, introduces himself and takes her on a tour of her new corporate surroundings. Hannah is most intrigued by the snack room, where she is astonished to learn that all the treats are free. Moments later, Hannah arrives to a meeting with an armful of snacks, worried that she might have overdone it.
Hannah's boss, Janice, kicks off the meeting and asks everyone to contribute "types" for the Field Guide. Hannah pitches several successful ideas, impressing all of her colleagues, save for a jealous Kevin. Janice rejects his contribution ("The Mod Hatter"), explaining that's not a type, but rather "just some guy you saw."
Shoshanna hangs out with Jessa at Sweet Emma, upset over the success of Ray's new business. "Ray is being written about in popular service publications, and my life is a mess," Shoshanna laments. "I know that that was a personal choice, but I feel like maybe it is time for me to unchoose that choice." This unchoosing will begin to manifest itself with her pursuit of a mature, committed relationship. She considers a recent fling, Parker, but worries that he's so stupid that their "children wouldn't get into pre-school."
Seeking to prove his good intentions, Ray heads to Marnie's tiny apartment, vegan muffins in tow. Marnie is skeptical of Ray's good nature. They settle in for an afternoon of ‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' on Marnie's laptop.
Hannah arrives home from work, excited after a mostly successful first day. Her enthusiasm wanes after Adam tells her about the audition he "bailed" on because he didn't find it challenging enough. Hannah offers a new "cool, fun challenge:" getting a real job, though the suggestion falls on large, deaf ears.
The next morning, Hannah listens on in horror as her coworkers reveal they were all accomplished creative writers before taking jobs writing advertorials at GQ. Learning that none of them write anymore outside of the drudgery of their corporate jobs, Hannah rushes to the ladies room to gather her thoughts under the cooling waters of the bathroom faucet.
Shoshanna pitches Parker on the benefits of being in a committed relationship. "I'm down for whatever," responds Parker. The romance begins.
Hannah heads to Janice's office, intent on quitting. She explains that she's afraid she'll get "seduced by all the perks" and wind up becoming a former writer who works in corporate advertising. Janice accepts her decision, saying that plenty of other writers would love the job if Hannah wasn't interested. Hannah marches out, before immediately regretting her decision. She marches back in to announce that she's reconsidered and would like to stay. Later, Joe overhears Hannah crying in her cubicle and calls to console her. He assures her she can still be a writer, so long as she maintains her focus and writes every night and weekend.
At a Chinatown restaurant, Marnie and Ray share a plate of dumplings and some family stories. The conversation turns sour when the subject of Western aid to Africa is broached. Marnie accuses Ray of being a racist, while he accuses her of being dumb and shallow. Marnie gets up to leave, but Ray convinces her to take her seat. "You have no one else to each lunch with. And neither do I."
Hannah returns home to an exuberant Adam; he got a callback from an audition. "I murdered it. I cut its f*cking guts out and left it in a dumpster by the side of the road," he crows. Hannah is happy for him and explains she's starting a new routine -- three hours of writing after work every night. Her drive quickly gives way to exhaustion, and she falls asleep on the couch while Adam recounts the details of his day.