Directed by Robert B. Weide
Written by Larry David, Alec Berg, David Mandel and Jeff Schaffer
Larry, Jeff and their teammates Ron and Eddie prepare for their club's golf tournament. They like their chances, so long as they can get Funkhouser-who's been missing in action-to play with them.
Eddie has the team and their wives over for dinner, and Larry hits Ron's car on the way in. Funkhouser is there as well, sporting a yarmulke, as he's recently undergone a spiritual awakening in the wake of his divorce and mid-life crisis. At dinner, the table discusses the fact that the Al Abbas Palestinian chicken restaurant is opening up a second location next to Goldblatt's deli. Funkhouser is outraged and debate rages across the table.
The next day, Larry visits Ron to offer to pay for the damage to his car. Rather than accept payment, Ron offers Larry another kind of deal. He'll waive the fee if Larry will tell his wife Ilene to stop saying "LOL" instead of actually laughing. Larry confronts Ilene about her habit of "verbal texting," but she quickly sees through the plan and berates her husband instead.
Larry and Jeff invite Funkhouser to join them for lunch at Al Abbas, but the newly devout Jew refuses to take off his yarmulke before entering. Larry ties to wrestle it away from him, and Funkhouser storms off. Applause breaks out as Larry and Jeff enter the restaurant, and Larry wins the adoration of the comely Muslim, Shara. At lunch, Larry spots Eddie and Ilene and gathers that they must be having an affair. He decides not to say anything, so as not to jeopardize his team's chances in the golf tournament.
Jeff's daughter Sami approaches Larry to enlist his services as a "social assassin." She wants him to tell Susie not to make a noise-"ah"-every time she takes a sip of her drink. Larry turns her down, but when she threatens to reveal Eddie and Ilene's affair, which would cost him the golf tournament, he relents.
Funkhouser visits Larry, and overhears him having sex with Shara. Her idea of dirty talk is to call Larry a dirty Jew and moan "F*ck me like Israel f*cks my people." When Larry emerges, Funkhouser tells him his rabbi won't let him play in the golf tournament because of the Sabbath, and Larry accuses him of "Koufaxing." Larry goes to talk to the rabbi, and gets her to allow Funkhouser to play-for the price of a piece of Al Abbas chicken.
On the 17th hole of the tournament, Larry's team is about to win. Susie arrives during Larry's stroke, takes a sip of her drink, and lets out an audible, "ah." At Sami's insistence, Larry takes the opportunity to confront her about her annoying habit. Susie blows up, not at Larry, but at Jeff who she presumes put him up to it. Distraught, Sami takes responsibility, but accidentally reveals that Eddie and Ilene are having an affair. Ron loses it-"LOL, honey. LOL."-and storms off. The tournament is lost.