Make It Quick, Fitzgerald!
Bored to Death | Season 2 | Episode 2

Make It Quick, Fitzgerald!


Written by Jonathan Ames
Directed by Alan Taylor

Suspicious that his wife is having an affair due to her recent suppressed smile, Richard Antrem hires Jonathan to spy on Priscilla, arranging for him to hide in their bedroom closet. Jonathan is dismayed to discover that Priscilla is sleeping with George - and that they role-play Nosferatu.

Stella surprises Jonathan with a request to explore polyamory now that the love of her life has moved back to Brooklyn. After much cajoling, Jonathan agrees to an overnight group cuddle with Stella and Warren, a struggling comedian.

Following up on the sharp pain he experienced in his penis, George visits Dr. Kenwood, a female urologist with an innovative exam technique, who informs George he has bedbugs (forcing him to move into the Maritime Hotel). Over breakfast, Jonathan reveals to George that he was in the closet during the tryst with Priscilla and insists George end the affair since Antrem is ordering another closet stakeout.

Ray shows Jonathan the new comic he has created as part of his campaign to win back Leah. In spite of the fact that "Super Ray" got his power from his penis hitting the third rail, Jonathan is dubious the cartoon will adequately impress Leah.

The cuddle with Warren and Stella makes Jonathan self-conscious about the size of his penis. To try and stop himself from committing menticide, Jonathan convinces Ray to look at his penis to let him know if he's normal; Ray assures him he is.

That night in Antrem's closet, Jonathan blocks out the sounds of Priscilla and George's lovemaking but when he texts Antrem that everything is "quiet," Antrem decides to return home. Jonathan is forced to announce his presence to prevent George and Priscilla from being caught. When Antrem arrives to confess his suspicions to his wife, he opens the closet door to reveal Jonathan - and finds George there as well. Disgusted, Priscilla kicks all three of them out.

When Ray lets himself into Leah's to surprise her with gifts, he gets an eyeful when he finds a naked man named Irwin in her bed and chases him to the street.