Sam Richardson: "If I Were President..."

HBO

The walk-on song for my campaign rally would be:

Sam Richardson

“Brick House” by The Commodores, cause I’m “mighty might just lettin’ it all hang out.”

HBO

I’d choose _______ to be my vice president:

Sam Richardson

I would hope that the technology would be there so that I could clone myself, so then my vice president could be me.

HBO

My top priority as president would be:

Sam Richardson

Getting us off of gasoline. Not because of a shortage, but because it would seem we’re so far behind on flying cars, and flying cars don’t run on gas -- they run on crystals or something. So I’d want to urge that along.

HBO

I would invite [BLANK] to my first state dinner:

Sam Richardson

Jackie Chan, Bill Murray and KITT from 'Knight Rider' -- you know, the car.

HBO

My first international presidential visit would be to:

Sam Richardson

Somewhere warm, but I’d need an excuse for going. St. Lucia or Barbados. There’s some really, really important work to do over there.

HBO

I’d choose _______ to design my presidential wardrobe:

Sam Richardson

I’d look slick in Hugo Boss. Hugo Boss would have all my guys running wild.

HBO

Which cast member, past or present, would you want to spoof you on 'SNL'?

Sam Richardson

Eddie Murphy.

HBO

What would your Secret Service codename be?

Sam Richardson

Black Eagle.

HBO

What event would you use your presidential powers to get tickets to?

Sam Richardson

If I could use my powers to get the Detroit Lions to the Super Bowl, I’d go to that.

HBO

Of all the recreation amenities at the White House, I’d use the [BLANK] the most:

Sam Richardson

The hot tub. Also, the presidential arcade that I’d have installed. An Xbox One, 'NBA Jam,' a little international 'Call of Duty.'

HBO

The national holiday I would institute would be:

Sam Richardson

4/20, but not for what you’d think. [Whispers] It’s for weed.

HBO

Who would you have the NSA spy on, for personal reasons?

Sam Richardson

Rihanna. See what her dating habits are about, then just kind of swoop in there. As president, it’d be my duty.

HBO

What would you make your bagman carry at all times?

Sam Richardson

A Game Boy, some sparkling water -- LaCroix, specifically -- some cocoa butter, because you’ve got to have that cocoa butter. Maybe a bag of chips.

HBO

What snacks would you require on Air Force One?

Sam Richardson

Gummy bears galore, crunchy M&Ms, more of that LaCroix and steaks -- you’ve got to have beef. Snack steaks. I’ll be the first president to die of a heart attack within the first two weeks. Sorry, William Henry Harrison.

HBO

What meal would you want the White House kitchen to be able to make for you, day or night?

Sam Richardson

Either a real nice duck breast or a surf and turf with steak and lobster. I love gout. I think I’m a big fan of the gout.

HBO

Who would you pardon?

Sam Richardson

I’d give a pardon to my bagman, for having all my weed in his bag.

HBO

Being the Leader of the Free World is stressful -- what cocktail would you wind down with?

Sam Richardson

A solid Jameson and Ginger.

HBO

What amenity would you add to the White House?

Sam Richardson

Massage chairs, standard in every room.

HBO

My biggest presidential gaffe would likely be:

Sam Richardson

Falling asleep on live television. I’d be dreaming of important things, though.

HBO

What city would you choose to house your presidential library?

Sam Richardson

Detroit, my hometown.

HBO

The title of my presidential memoirs would be:

Sam Richardson

“Four Wasted Years, Somehow Followed by Another Four.”

Watch Veep

  1. NOW & GOAvailable