Amy forces Tim to pay $17.50 for two beers at a fancy club, and as the bartender harasses him for leaving a weak tip, a doctor named B.J. approaches. He asks Tim to fake a medical emergency in front of two hot girls so he can come save the day. Tim hits the floor, and B.J. comes to the rescue, diagnosing Tim with an anxiety attack. The next day, Tim - who has no health insurance - goes to see Dr. B.J. about some abdominal pains. When he gets to the office, he waits endlessly while the doctor flirts with a couple of hot pharmaceutical reps. The second rep, Kelly, offers to give Tim a ride home after Dr. B.J. says nothing is wrong with him. Halfway through the drive back, Dr. B.J. calls because Kelly has stolen his car, which she says she's going to drive off the George Washington Bridge. Before Kelly can steer the car into the river, however, OnStar calls and immobilizes the vehicle - causing a massive car accident. As the paramedics put Tim on a stretcher, he asks them about his bloating and abdominal pains.
Tim and Amy return from brunch and find a stranger named Doug, who's let himself into their apartment. Tim hits the "robber" in the eye with a blueberry muffin, but it turns out the intruder used Stu's spare set of keys, which he found at the gym. That night, at the bar, Amy's mom calls and suggests she buy a gun. Tim balks at the idea but agrees to go to the gun shop, where Amy buys a pistol despite a felony conviction for knife-fighting in college (who knew?). That night, Amy watches the news, cradling her new gun in her lap, and when she hears a noise at the door, she fires - hitting Bashko as he changes her apartment locks. When Tim comes home, he gets the same treatment. Later at the hospital, Tim demands that she get rid of the gun, but the next night, he finds it in her purse. A mugger approaches and demands the gun in addition to Amy's purse. Tim tries to act tough and threaten him, but the man simply takes the gun from Tim's hand, robs Amy and leaves.
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