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Inside the Episode
With Executive Producer Cynthia Mort
Who in the f**k ever said you need to have sex every month or every week or twice a week, and if you don't there's something
wrong with you?
There's a whole culture of fear we live in; everything is geared towards being beautiful and sexual. Writing the show, I
thought of all of those people out there who are neither, and they're suffering because some magazine editor decided they
should be having sex three times a week, and if they weren't, they were f**ked up.
There are so many great people with kids and families and lives who have amazing love for each other. Should whether they're
having sex or not determine whether they're in a successful relationship?
With 'Tell Me You Love Me,' I really wanted to write a very spare, very intimate show about intimacy. I was interested in
people who are in a relationship, yet so very lonely. They never thought of leaving their husbands or wives or boyfriends or
girlfriends. But what happened? How do they get there?
In-Between Moments
I don't have any patience for artifice anymore, and I think people have a collective awareness of what's real, what's
authentic. I wanted the moments on the show to play out, including what is unspoken in those moments. Because that's how you
live -- people are not chattering non-stop. And if they are, they're irritating.
When you're in a relationship with somebody, more often it's about what's not said and what's hidden, and what comes to light
and why it comes to light. I don't think you can have a show about intimacy without allowing those moments in between to play
out.
It's somewhat voyeuristic, and that will make some people uncomfortable -- it made me uncomfortable watching at times. But I
didn't want to turn away. And even if I did want to turn away, I wanted to come back. And that's the journey of the couples.
No Bailing on the Sex
When I was writing the pilot, I never thought about the amount of sex on the show, not once. Even when we shot some of those
scenes in the pilot, scenes that were very intense and emotional. Not until I saw the footage did I realize what we were
capturing. Then I thought, "Whoa. This is a lot." But we had many meetings about it. Sex is part of the language of intimacy.
And just as I don't want to cut away in the therapy scenes, I don't want to cut away in these moments. It's not about the
physical act. It's about the emotional act. Every sex scene, truly, is part of an existing scene. I was not willing to bail
on any part of their stories, whether it was sex or therapy or a dinner party.
We figured out the best way to shoot the sex scenes, just like we figured out how to shoot the others, and whatever happened,
happened. I was not going to cut away to the window and come back when they were finished and go, "Oh, that was great."
The audience is way too savvy for that. And it's a drag. It's irritating.
On Nudity
Everyone says I should have expected people to be up in arms about the sex. But I truly didn't expect the level of reaction.
I don't find it shocking to see a guy's penis, within context. And as I said to the actors, nobody on this show will ever get
up and walk across the room nude. That's not what I want to do. But I'm also not going to show two people having sex covered
up by a sheet -- unless they're people who wouldn't be comfortable being nude.
See What Happens
When I really thought about the show, I realized I'm looking at one relationship, essentially. These aren't separate people
who have been created brand-new. When you start off as two people who can't keep their hands off each other, how do you end
up two people who can't touch each other? I really wanted to take apart everything that happened to these people and see
where it started, and how they got there, and how they could come back.
I find the end of episode one hopeful, even uplifting, and that's important to what the show is. It is about love. No matter
how f**ked up love is, it's about love.
I think the goal of any television show, movie, book or piece of music is to allow people to experience something, to open
their eyes. I think if people come to 'Tell Me You Love Me' with their arms folded, saying, "This is not me. This is me,"
they'll miss a lot. I hope that people will open their arms and their eyes and just kind of check it out. See what happens.
Discuss this episode in the Tell Me You Love Me Bulletin Board.
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