Episode 321

June 13, 2014



“What could be more exciting than watching Paraguay playing some Slavic country you never even knew existed to a scoreless draw?” – Bill Maher

“What could be more exciting than watching Paraguay playing some Slavic country you never even knew existed to a scoreless draw?” – Bill Maher

Eric Cantor was the Tea Party’s biggest ally in Congress. He didn’t know what hit him. After the concession speech he made, on the way home, he was saying, 'I don’t get it. I was unreasonable. I was uninformed. I was hateful. What happened?'” – Bill Maher

“800 rebels scared off 30,000 Iraqi troops who took off their uniforms and threw down their guns. Even the French were, like, 'What?!'” – Bill Maher

“I knew it would come to this someday. John McCain is calling for the United States to bomb the United States.” – Bill Maher


“Every time we do something important, we hear about crying wolf. Industry is going to stop; the economy is going to fall apart. But, it’s never happened. We have been able to reduce air pollution by 70% while we grow the GDP three times over. We can do this. We have to do this.” – Gina McCarthy

“I notice that when Republicans argue against cleaning up the air, one of the arguments now is, 'Well, I’m not a scientist.' Which is astounding, because I’ve never seen another area where they talk about needing to be an expert themselves.” – Bill Maher

“I think we created EPA as a science-based agency so that we could speak to these issues and we could act on the science and the law. And, what we’ve done here is make a historic leap forward. I am so proud of the president for doing what you’ve been asking people to be doing for quite a while, which is to stop talking about the science; believe it, understand it. It’s factual. It isn’t a belief system.” – Gina McCarthy


“This is a direct result of the U.S. intervention, and I don’t want to say I told you so, but this was foreseen. So, right now, Al Qaeda is fighting Iran. That’s what’s going on. I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing in the general sense of things. We should not get involved in this. If Al Qaeda wants to fight Iran, let them do it.” – Richard Clarke

“The lack of a plan for the occupation, the cronyism, the fact that we totally disbanded the leadership structure that had been in place for decades, and essentially created this vacuum; what did we think was going to happen?” – Krystal Ball

“In the 16th century, Protestants and Catholics spent the entire century slaughtering each other. But, that’s the 16th century, when the world was too Christian, too religious on the Christian side. This seems to be the moment when the Muslims are having their 16th century. The Sunnis and the Shiites are going to have this out, and we just have to let them have it out.” – Bill Maher

“There’s such an arrogance that comes from the very initial decision that we would go in, and with our magical capitalism-democracy-fairy dust, we would create a new Iraq, and we’d be greeted as liberators.” – Krystal Ball

“The problem is, if you do nothing here, ISIS will export terrorism to the west. They’ve already got a lot of European passports.” – Tom Rogan

“If we bombed Iraq, we would be working with the Shiites, which means we’d be allies with Iran. We would be part of the Axis of Evil!” – Bill Maher

“We cannot clean up every country in the world so that every country in the world is a nice, safe place where there are no Al Qaeda people and no fundamentalists. We can’t do that. So, we have to deal with the problem differently.” – Richard Clarke

Eric Cantor's Loss To Dave Brat

“This could never happen on the left. I wish it could. I wish somebody would come along and say to Elizabeth Warren – who I happen to love – 'You know what? You’re not left enough.' That would never happen.” – Bill Maher

“This is Frankenstein’s monster. In the movie, Dr. Frankenstein

creates the monster and it kills him. And Eric Cantor helped create the Tea Party and it killed him.” – Richard Clarke

“I just found out that he's Jewish. And I have to say, as a member of the tribe, I was not pleased about it.” – Carol Leifer

“Cantor outspent his opponent by 25 times, but he actually still ended up losing. Which is a bit of a challenge to that idea that Republicans are owned by big money.” – Tom Rogan

“His big argument was 'he’s a college professor.' That’s become a slur now, on the right, that you are a college professor. They hate smart people more than Mexicans.” – Bill Maher


“Brat used the immigration issue to tie Eric Cantor to Wall Street and to big business. And there was a lot of suspicion on the right in this Tea Party contingent that Eric Cantor did not represent them.” – Krystal Ball

“The polling data that came out suggested that immigration, this has been played up a little bit too much, that that was the big wedge issue. More important, was that he went door to door. And Cantor took his constituents for granted.” – Tom Rogan

“After Romney lost, they had an 'autopsy.' That’s what they called it.
And what did they decide? They decided that they needed to change their position on immigration or they would be dead. So, did they change their position on immigration? They’re not going to change their position on immigration. They’re going to have another 'autopsy.'” – Richard Clarke

Watch Real Time with Bill Maher

  1. TelevisionSat, Sep 23, 1:55AM ETEpisode 438: September 22, 2017HBO2 EAST
  2. NOW & GOAvailable
  3. On Demand6 episodes available