Episode 319

May 23, 2014

Quotes

Maherisms

“36 million Americans will travel over 50 miles this weekend. They don’t want to, but they’re in GM cars, and they hit the brakes and nothing happens.” –Bill Maher

“36 million Americans will travel over 50 miles this weekend. They don’t want to, but they’re in GM cars, and they hit the brakes and nothing happens.” –Bill Maher

“Republicans have pounced. They’re outraged. They say, 'How dare you lie about caring for the people who got hurt in the war we lied them into?'” – Bill Maher

“Obama should take a page out of Sarah’s book. She knows when you get elected to do a job, you see it all the way through to the middle.” – Bill Maher

Immigration

“There’s 300,000 undocumented Europeans all around the country that we don’t even know about. A million undocumented Asians in this country that people don’t even know about. One out of five Koreans is undocumented. One out of six Filipinos is undocumented.” – Jose Antonio Vargas

“People don’t know a lot of things. I think they don’t know that most people who come here illegally do not cross the border, you know, with a 'coyote.' They come on a plane. They buy a plane ticket.” – Bill Maher

“All we have is a political hot-potato that nobody wants to touch. And yet, here we are, driving on the same freeways as you are, going to the same church as you are. Paying the exact same taxes.” – Jose Antonio Vargas

“We have to have, again, a sense of urgency on this issue. And we need to get politics out of it. It’s not a Republican issue or a Democratic issue. It’s about doing the right thing.” – Jose Antonio Vargas

The VA Scandal

“People realize that we’re very good at sending people to war, but we’re not good at taking care of them. And people are coming back from war now; years ago, they would have been killed, now they’re wounded; and they’re coming back alive and with post-traumatic stress. So, I think Americans are sensible enough to know we’ve got to figure out a way to take care of them.” – Anna Deavere Smith

“It faced an influx of people who had suffered the traumas of recent and much more lethal combat in new kinds of battlefields. And it’s failing to deal with that. And, that’s not a story about one president or one VA administrator. It is a story about a failure of institutions to adapt to new times.” – David Frum

“Rather than point all the fingers, I think we should be talking about solutions like flexibility. It fits within keeping of the model of the Affordable Care Act to say they have insurance; let’s now allow them to go out into the private sector and be seen by private physicians or private hospitals, and lessen the burden on the VA system.” – Michael Smerconish

Women's Reproductive Rights, Getting Older, and The 9/11 Museum Gift Shop

“I’ve never had an abortion. And I don’t know if I would. But, it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t fight to the death for women to make their own choices for their own human bodies.” – Sarah Silverman

“As soon as a woman is old enough to have an opinion and have a voice and be unafraid, she’s very much encouraged by all sorts of people to crawl under a rock and die. And it’s so weird. My crime is not dying.” – Sarah Silverman

“It depends on where the money is going to, I guess. But, hey, unless you have a mug, how are you going to remember 9/11?” – Sarah Silverman

Jill Abramson's Firing From The New York Times

“This strikes one as the kind of story where the people are saying nasty things about each other in public, and you come away with increasing suspicion that everything that everybody is saying about each other is all true.” – David Frum

“People are concerned about it. It’s staying in the news a long time. And I think that’s because people – men and women – we know that people’s daughters, mothers and sisters are likely to be rising to the top. More women are being educated than ever. And, so they’re watching it with concern. That’s the good news for me.” – Anna Deavere Smith

“I play basketball, and I’m past the point of feeling stressed about it, because I don’t care, and I have fun and I like to talk shit. It’s mostly men, but I’ve played with other women who play, and every basket you miss is like 100 baskets you miss. And there’s so much pressure on one woman. And, meanwhile, all the guys are shooting all day and missing all day and getting better and better and better and better. And, you have to just shed that feeling of 'how am I being perceived,' because then you have to get great.” – Sarah Silverman

Botched Lethal Injections & The Death Penalty

“It seems perverse to me that we are this vengeful country. Most countries don’t do this. But, we don’t want to think of ourselves that way, so we just want to nudge them over the line easily. We want to put them out to sleep and have you gently go into death.” – Bill Maher

“The sure thing to do would be like North Korea: put a gun to somebody’s head and shoot them. But, we’re hypocritical. We don’t want to see that.” – Anna Deavere Smith

“The B-Team is running the drill. We know how to kill people. It sounds grisly to say it. We have assisted suicide in two states. Everybody remembers Jack Kevorkian, but the AMA has taken this position that physicians shouldn’t be involved. And, there’s been pressure brought to bear on the big pharma, not to supply the medicines that are necessary.” – Michael Smerconish

“We’ve got the lowest crime rate since good records began, probably the lowest crime in the whole history of the republic, going back to the writing of the Constitution. And with that, we are seeing a dramatic reduction in the number of people being sentenced to death.” – David Frum

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