Please update your flash player...

Quotes

Maherisms

"CNN and MSNBC were all over this story, even though it's water under the bridge. CNN because there's water, and MSNBC because there's a bridge." - Bill Maher

"Don Sterling got drummed out of the NBA. And then, we found out today, he has prostate cancer. And, think how cancer felt when it was told, 'You've got Don Sterling!'" - Bill Maher

"Nobody is condoning his racism, but this was a private conversation in his living room. He didn't break any laws. If being a rich asshole named Donald was a crime, Trump would be on death row." - Bill Maher

"CNN and MSNBC were all over this story, even though it's water under the bridge. CNN because there's water, and MSNBC because there's a bridge." - Bill Maher

The Donald Sterling Controversy

"I feel like some of this is obviously just regular racism, and some of it is something that is so old and such a big part of racism, which is 'the black guy is going to steal our women.' I feel like that's what was going on in his head." - Bill Maher

"What possibly could have been going on in his head? He was all over the place with his paternalism and his misogyny and just his contempt for everybody that wasn't just like him." - Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

"All week I've heard how brave the commissioner was to rule what he did. Now, I'm not saying the commissioner made the wrong ruling. I think he made the right ruling. But, could we stop calling him brave? He did what every single person wanted him to do. There was no one against him." - Bill Maher

"We don't even know how they got hold of it. There's still some mystery there. And, to me, that just adds to the stench of it. We don't even know exactly how that transpired, how they got hold of the tape and what deals were made. I think somebody has to define privacy and what it means to the average American." -  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Jobs & The Minimum Wage

"Can't we walk and chew gum at the same time? Can't we at least raise the minimum wage while people are starving, and then look for the better opportunities at the same time?" - Bill Maher

"The stock market is at an all-time high. We've got no inflation and unemployment is almost down. That violates every economic class I was ever given. I don't think America is used to happiness. It's been a few years, and I think we're going to have to learn to smile again." - Walter Kirn

"What's not happening is they're quarreling, not leading in Washington, D.C. Power is now shifting locally. You're seeing states - ten of them - raise their minimum wage just in the last few months. And, California, we announced we're raising to ten dollars. But, cities have been really leading the way." - Gavin Newsom

"The vast majority of the jobs we're adding are not bread-winner jobs, and that's the problem. Minimum wage positions used to be a starter role, and now, as it turns out, more and more people are having to survive on that income. And I think that's unacceptable." - Monica Mehta

"If we're a consumption-based economy, the smartest thing to do is put more money in people's pockets. A minimum wage puts more money in people's pockets to reinvest and spend in the economy, thus growing the economy in turn. It's the reason we want to extend long-term unemployment benefits. These are part of an economic development strategy." - Gavin Newsom

Obamacare

"They're going to find that the horror stories are fewer and further between, and they're going to have to learn to smile, too, because the Republicans have had a frown for a long time. And if they keep wearing it, they're not going to inspire electoral victory." - Walter Kirn

"It's time to even the score. It's time to go on the offensive. Democrats need to embrace this. We need to use this as a campaign issue." - Gavin Newsom

"Just having healthcare makes me feel healthier. And, this country has this sort of mental illness epidemic. And it's got a lot of epidemics that don't come just from the body. And, one of them is that everyday life is so insecure." - Walter Kirn

"Premiums have not gone up. Even the CBO said it's 15% less than their projections. The fact is, we have addressed the cost curve in the short term. There's still legitimate concerns. But, what we have to do is counter the misinformation, the flow, day in and day out, coming from the other side on this." - Gavin Newsom

On Music, Marijuana and Rastafarianism

"You're really a cross-over musician. I mean, this stuff is very accessible in a way that a lot of, I think, traditional reggae isn't to everybody." - Bill Maher

"It's open-minded music. It's music that doesn't have any limits or boundaries on it. And so everyone can get into it because it's not in a box, it's not in a prison. It's free music." - Ziggy Marley

"The true meaning of Rastafari is 'love.' But, when I speak of Rastafari, I only speak for myself. I don't speak as a spokesman for a group of people. It's an individual consciousness. And that's how I take it. So, I would rather tell you of love than tell you to be Rastafari. Because you might be, 'Rastafari? No, I'm not into that.' But, are you into love? This is the most important thing. It's not the title." - Ziggy Marley

"Marijuana is specific to the Rastafari culture. Marijuana is used in a way to open minds, basically, for more creative thinking, for more connection with what we call the universe. The creative voice." - Ziggy Marley

Net Neutrality

"This is an issue that could threaten a fast-track of changing the Internet as we know it. So, I don't want to be hyperbolic about it, but people should pay attention to this. Because, frankly, we take for granted the free and open nature of the Internet that we know today." - Gavin Newsom

"The winners, on an open playing field, want to roll that playing field up after them. And now Google and all the companies that succeeded in an open, competitive atmosphere have run up the scoreboard, and now they want to change the rules so that nobody can come in after them. And, it happens everywhere in American life." - Walter Kirn

"I think there's actually a big misunderstanding about what net neutrality actually is. What's happening is you have certain companies like Hulu and Amazon that are streaming videos, and that actually takes up a lot of bandwidth.  And, so what they're trying to do is make it such that those people actually pay more. Why should they pay as much as the woman on Etsy selling hair bows?" - Monica Mehta

"Don't even ask the Supreme Court, because they once had a case like this, and one of the justices asked, 'What's the difference between email and a pager?'" - Bill Maher

Episode 316

May 2, 2014

Related Media

`