Episode 314

April 11, 2014



"People don't know this, but Mrs. Christ was the one who got people to wash Jesus' feet so he wouldn't track mud into the house." – Bill Maher

"On Wednesday alone, they blocked the Equal Pay Act; they blocked protections for gays in the workplace; they blocked an increase in minimum wage. They even blocked an increase in mine safety.So, if you're a lesbian who is digging up coal for $6 an hour, you had a very bad day on Wednesday." - Bill Maher

"What's so especially embarrassing for this congressman is that he is a deeply conservative Christian, and a firm believer in the Nine Commandments." - Bill Maher

"People don't know this, but Mrs. Christ was the one who got people to wash Jesus' feet so he wouldn't track mud into the house." - Bill Maher

Pussy Riot

"There were several attacks on us recently. They're into turning into these violent flash mobs. And, time after time, the police just refuse to open up a criminal case on that. And this is a really worrying trend in Russia. Because, to be a human rights worker - not just a politician, but also to do human rights - is becoming really dangerous." - Nadya Tolokonnikova

"It should be said that Putin sort of gave us a big gift by placing us in prison. Because, for two years, we've been defining and exploring what the Russian nation really was. Right now, nobody can say, 'Oh, you're far from the people.'" - Nadya Tolokonnikova

Equal Pay

"Women are continuing to work in jobs that pay less. They take more time off to take care of their family. And they face discrimination in all these subtle ways. And they're more heads of household these days. They've having to make their money go further." - Ana Marie Cox

"Is this a federal issue, though? I mean, do you want the federal government to make law mandating that everybody makes the exact same?" - Rep. Duncan Hunter

"This argument against equal pay seems to rest on this idea - some would say it's a conservative fantasy - that we don't need laws because the goodness of the American people will always take the fore." - Bill Maher

Income Inequality & Jail Time

"Take a single mom on welfare, and she gets charged with an $800 welfare fraud, and she does jail time and never sees her kids again because they get taken away from her. And, meanwhile, some guy who does a $4 billion or $5 billion securities fraud isn't even charged. He never sees the inside of a courtroom. And, that's when you get angry." - Matt Taibbi

"We're entering that stage of our history here in America, where we just know that some people, like the heads of these banks, they're going to pay fines. They're not going to go to jail for any other stuff." - Matt Taibbi

"It's a massive human rights crisis in this country. And the problem is, it's all happening behind behind the wall. And, so ordinary Americans don't pay any attention to it. And it's being kept hidden from us." - Matt Taibbi

"When you come from a place like New York City, that's different from San Diego. You're going to see different things. You're going to have different variables. You're not going to see the exact same thing, obviously, that you see in a big city. But, I think that the victimless crimes and drug decriminalization should change this going forward." - Rep. Duncan Hunter

"It's because they're targeting scary people and not scary drugs. If drugs are in the hands of a white person, they're less scary, but if they're in the hands of a black person, they're somehow scarier." - Ana Marie Cox

Nuclear Weapons

"Pakistan does not share the same values that we have. The only reason that Pakistan is kept in check - one of the main reasons - is because India has nuclear weapons. India and Pakistan check each other. And it's because they both have nuclear weapons that they're able to do so. It's power versus power." - Rep. Duncan Hunter

"It plays into this idea that we're still working in a world where the super-power model exists. And that's not the world we live in anymore." - Ana Marie Cox

"Wasn't the whole justification for the 'war on terror' that responsible people would never use weapons of mass destruction under any circumstances?" - Matt Taibbi

"It was a bipartisan idea for many decades that we only would use them in retaliation if someone used them on us. I just think this is a genie we shouldn't let out of the bottle." - Bill Maher


"This is like a big Kabuki where we all, like, act: 'I don't know what's going to happen in the Ukraine.' And we gnash our teeth over it. And it's pretty clear that Putin is going to destabilize it. He's going to come in and say, 'It's chaos. I'm moving in.' We're not going to do anything." - Rob Lowe

"What they really want to do is keep Ukraine from entering NATO. And they'll do that in any way possible. And all that means is destabilizing it. If he can destabilize it without invading, that's what he'll do." - Ana Marie Cox

"This isn't new. And I don't think we should think that this is going to be totally different than the way that the Soviet Union acted in the past, which is to claim its borders, push out as much as it can, make Europe very nervous, nervous enough to talk about it but not really do anything about it." - Rep. Duncan Hunter

"It seems like every time I come on your show, we're talking about maybe invading somebody. I just wish maybe we could go a couple years without doing that." - Matt Taibbi

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