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Quotes

Maherisms


Now they say the plane flew hundreds of miles with absolutely no communication. If only I could get the same from the guy in the seat next to me.  Bill Maher

It is amazing that something just vanished without a trace. It means it was either terrorism, an accident, or it starred Colin Farrell.  Bill Maher

Sarah Palin said perhaps the most irresponsible thing Ive ever heard any politician say about this. She said, 'The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.' Do you think she realizes that nuking Russia might not be good for someone who can see Russia from her house?  Bill Maher

Now they say the plane flew hundreds of miles with absolutely no communication. If only I could get the same from the guy in the seat next to me.  Bill Maher

Overpopulation

Like every other species, we were designed to make copies of ourselves. In fact, extra copies of ourselves. And, thats like doing what comes naturally. So, it turns out that, unlike every other species, we got to be really good at cheating the grim reaper. We developed all this medication and sanitation, pasteurization, all these things.  Alan Weisman

That empty space in the middle of the country is actually mostly grain fields. And, now 40% of the earth is devoted to feeding just one species, our own. Thats kind of out of balance with the rest of nature. And, were starting to push other stuff off the planet that, frankly, we wont know weve pushed something off that we needed until its a little too late.  Alan Weisman

We consume an enormous amount. And, there are things that we can try to do to mitigate that: drive Priuses, compact fluorescents, renewable energy. But, most of our energy is produced with fossil fuels, and thats not going away anytime soon.  Alan Weisman

Ukraine

Thank the God I dont believe in that President John McCain isnt in the White House, or President Mitt Romney, or any of these Republicans who always want to either get into a war or start some shit to show whose dick is bigger.  Bill Maher

Two-thirds of Americans actually dont want to get really involved in Ukraine. So, it would be interesting to see what administrations would do.  Amy Chua

I certainly dont think, as some people have been saying, that Putin has been responding to Americas weakness. I dont think that Putin needs to respond to Americas weakness. Hes just just the bastard he is.  Salman Rushdie

If you look at where Russia has gone in the last 30 years, you can see that this is basically a terribly defensive move, not an aggressive one. Its a function of Russias weakness, not its strength.  Andrew Sullivan

I feel like were living in a post-patriot world, because it used to be when things happened overseas, most of the politicians in America defended the president whether he was of their party or not.  Bill Maher

CPAC and Rand Paul

The guy who won the straw poll was Rand Paul, the one guy who says quite the opposite. Like his father, he is for not having an American empire. Thats the thing I love about the Pauls. And, what does that tell us? I mean, obviously, there is a split in the Republican Party, and obviously Rand Paul is a much better politician than his father.  Bill Maher

 Its just too early to tell. Because I think thats a lot of the students at Yale Law School. I mean, its largely a group of 18-25-year-olds, very libertarian. So, maybe not perfectly representative of the larger Republican base.  Amy Chua

If you want to actually win a campaign, you need those people to organize. Theyre the people that go out there and actually get elections won.   Andrew Sullivan

The Obama coalition was based, quite strongly, around young voters, first-time voters. So, if he could break into that, then hes got a chance.  Salman Rushdie

On The Origin of The Universe and The Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey Reboot

When our universe was one second old, it was the size of a marble, which is insane when you think about it. All of the hundred billion galaxies, all of those stars and worlds, everything, all of the matter and energy in the universe were condensed to the size of a marble, so you can imagine how dense and hot that was.  Seth MacFarlane

If we work backwards, we can say, all right, well, if its this big now, then it had to have been this big 100 million years ago; had to have been this big a billion years ago. And, eventually, we work our way back to the Big Bang, which is 13.8 billion years ago.  Seth MacFarlane

Every object in the universe is always tugging on every other object because of gravity. So, we have a universe that is constantly jerking itself off, basically.  Seth MacFarlane

The SAT & Reforms

I think all these new proposals right now: you know, lets get rid of grades, get rid of SAT, get rid of college, I think theyre really just ways to run away from confronting these deep problems we have with our education system. I think right now were basically lying to our kids by sugar-coating.  Amy Chua

It seems to me the SAT is a stupid test. There isnt a single other country in the western world that tests its children by multiple-choice questions.  Salman Rushdie

The SAT still does predict your future income. Thats how its constructed. Its a really good thing to analyze how people are able, and if youre a poor kid, if youre in a disadvantaged place, this is your tool to get ahead.  Andrew Sullivan

I dont think its the test thats a problem. I think its college thats the problem. And parents, quite frankly, are the problem. When I was a kid, parents never got in between you and the teacher and defended you. They defended the teacher.  Bill Maher

Episode 310

12/310-episode

March 14, 2014

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