Episode 310

March 14, 2014



“Now they say the plane flew hundreds of miles with absolutely no communication. If only I could get the same from the guy in the seat next to me.” – Bill Maher

“Now they say the plane flew hundreds of miles with absolutely no communication. If only I could get the same from the guy in the seat next to me.” – Bill Maher

“It is amazing that something just vanished without a trace. It means it was either terrorism, an accident, or it starred Colin Farrell.” – Bill Maher

“Sarah Palin said perhaps the most irresponsible thing I’ve ever heard any politician say about this. She said, 'The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.' Do you think she realizes that nuking Russia might not be good for someone who can see Russia from her house?” – Bill Maher


“Like every other species, we were designed to make copies of ourselves. In fact, extra copies of ourselves. And, that’s like doing what comes naturally. So, it turns out that, unlike every other species, we got to be really good at cheating the grim reaper. We developed all this medication and sanitation, pasteurization, all these things.” – Alan Weisman

“That empty space in the middle of the country is actually mostly grain fields. And, now 40% of the earth is devoted to feeding just one species, our own. That’s kind of out of balance with the rest of nature. And, we’re starting to push other stuff off the planet that, frankly, we won’t know we’ve pushed something off that we needed until it’s a little too late.” – Alan Weisman

“We consume an enormous amount. And, there are things that we can try to do to mitigate that: drive Priuses, compact fluorescents, renewable energy. But, most of our energy is produced with fossil fuels, and that’s not going away anytime soon.” – Alan Weisman


“Thank the God I don’t believe in that President John McCain isn’t in the White House, or President Mitt Romney, or any of these Republicans who always want to either get into a war or start some shit to show whose dick is bigger.” – Bill Maher

“Two-thirds of Americans actually don’t want to get really involved in Ukraine. So, it would be interesting to see what administrations would do.” – Amy Chua

“I certainly don’t think, as some people have been saying, that Putin has been responding to America’s weakness. I don’t think that Putin needs to respond to America’s weakness. He’s just just the bastard he is.” – Salman Rushdie

“If you look at where Russia has gone in the last 30 years, you can see that this is basically a terribly defensive move, not an aggressive one. It’s a function of Russia’s weakness, not its strength.” – Andrew Sullivan

“I feel like we’re living in a post-patriot world, because it used to be when things happened overseas, most of the politicians in America defended the president whether he was of their party or not.” – Bill Maher

CPAC and Rand Paul

“The guy who won the straw poll was Rand Paul, the one guy who says quite the opposite. Like his father, he is for not having an American empire. That’s the thing I love about the Pauls. And, what does that tell us? I mean, obviously, there is a split in the Republican Party, and obviously Rand Paul is a much better politician than his father.” – Bill Maher

“ It’s just too early to tell. Because I think that’s a lot of the students at Yale Law School. I mean, it’s largely a group of 18-25-year-olds, very libertarian. So, maybe not perfectly representative of the larger Republican base.” – Amy Chua

“If you want to actually win a campaign, you need those people to organize. They’re the people that go out there and actually get elections won. “ – Andrew Sullivan

“The Obama coalition was based, quite strongly, around young voters, first-time voters. So, if he could break into that, then he’s got a chance.” – Salman Rushdie

On The Origin of The Universe and The “Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey” Reboot

“When our universe was one second old, it was the size of a marble, which is insane when you think about it. All of the hundred billion galaxies, all of those stars and worlds, everything, all of the matter and energy in the universe were condensed to the size of a marble, so you can imagine how dense and hot that was.” – Seth MacFarlane

“If we work backwards, we can say, all right, well, if it’s this big now, then it had to have been this big 100 million years ago; had to have been this big a billion years ago. And, eventually, we work our way back to the Big Bang, which is 13.8 billion years ago.” – Seth MacFarlane

“Every object in the universe is always tugging on every other object because of gravity. So, we have a universe that is constantly jerking itself off, basically.” – Seth MacFarlane

The SAT & Reforms

“I think all these new proposals right now: you know, let’s get rid of grades, get rid of SAT, get rid of college, I think they’re really just ways to run away from confronting these deep problems we have with our education system. I think right now we’re basically lying to our kids by sugar-coating.” – Amy Chua

“It seems to me the SAT is a stupid test. There isn’t a single other country in the western world that tests its children by multiple-choice questions.” – Salman Rushdie

“The SAT still does predict your future income. That’s how it’s constructed. It’s a really good thing to analyze how people are able, and if you’re a poor kid, if you’re in a disadvantaged place, this is your tool to get ahead.” – Andrew Sullivan

“I don’t think it’s the test that’s a problem. I think it’s college that’s the problem. And parents, quite frankly, are the problem. When I was a kid, parents never got in between you and the teacher and defended you. They defended the teacher.” – Bill Maher

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