Episode 302

November 22, 2013


“But, Obama said he made a promise to the Afghans. He said, 'If you like the war you have, you can keep it. Period.'” – Bill Maher


“But, Obama said he made a promise to the Afghans. He said, 'If you like the war you have, you can keep it. Period.'” – Bill Maher

“Eleven more years in Afghanistan? It’s easier to get away from Tom Cruise.” – Bill Maher

“He got busted trying to buy cocaine, when just a couple of weeks ago, he voted to require people on food stamps to be drug tested. Sure, he did. More drugs for him.” – Bill Maher

The Cheney Sisters' Feud

“I’m sure there are a lot of Wyoming people who find gay marriage icky. But, what they found even ickier was throwing your sister under the bus to win an election.” – Bill Maher

“Liz Cheney is 50 points down in the polls. She’s not going to make up that ground knifing her sister.” – Dan Savage

“It is funny that you need a 'Dick' to adjudicate a dispute between the lesbian and the straight sister.” – Dan Savage

“Nancy Reagan is for stem cell research because Ronald Reagan had Alzheimer’s Disease. Rush Limbaugh is for drug treatment as opposed to incarceration because he got his ass addicted to drugs. Megyn Kelly on Fox News is for maternity leave after she pushes out a brat. But, not before. Once it happens to Republicans, there’s the empathy gap; they can’t imagine someone else’s circumstances.” – Dan Savage

The End of The Filibuster

“Isn’t it a good thing that we’re getting rid of the filibuster, for both sides? I always thought it was kind of a parliamentary coup that didn’t make sense to begin with. And, I’m kind of glad if it’s going to go away.” – Bill Maher

“With the filibuster, the minority had power and kept on blocking these nominations. Now, I think it allows us to circumvent some of the problems of partisanship. But, it always probably stacks up future partisanship for Democrats.” – Katty Kay

“There is some good in the filibuster. There is. It requires bipartisanship. It protects the rights of the minority in the Senate. It’s not a wholly bad thing at all. But, it's abused.” – Paul Begala

Conspiracy Theories

“I don’t know if we’ve learned a lot since Dallas 50 years ago. I’m not saying that it was or wasn’t a conspiracy. The 'magic bullet' is pretty suspicious. But, I just think people do bad things. And it’s not always because of a good reason.” – Bill Maher

“The idea that some lone, banal loser with a $21 rifle could have shot the president of the United States just seems implausible to people. It just seems they don’t want to believe that it was just one person. But, then if you don’t like government as well, it’s just one step further to say it was a conspiracy.” – Katty Kay

“As far as conspiracy theories, Americans clearly love them.” – Bob Ehrlich


“In fairness to the president, this was the war of necessity when he campaigned. The discretionary war: Iraq. This was the war of necessity. And this is sort of keeping that promise. And the fact of it is, the guys who blew up those towers and killed 3,000 people, that want to kill a lot of us, that’s where they trained. So, we have a lot of blood there.” – Bob Ehrlich

“I think 12 years is enough. I think $675 billion is enough. And I damn sure think 2,922 deaths from American troops is plenty enough.” – Paul Begala

“I was always the guy who loved Obama because he kept up with his promises. And it’s not a good thing to be going back on another promise this month, Barry.” – Bill Maher

“The only argument that foreign policy people make is that the risk is that Afghanistan becomes another hotbed of Al Qaeda. But, actually, we’re not invading Yemen, we’re not invading Somalia, we’re not invading Mali. And people are really looking at those countries now as terrorist bases.” – Katty Kay

On New Orleans

“It just struck me that after Katrina hit, there were actually some people who said, 'You know what? Let’s just let this city die. It’s too far below sea level.' It’s just ridiculous that we could let one of the most amazing cities in this country go away.” – Bill Maher

“New Orleans is too valuable. And especially when it comes to culture. Because we express the American aesthetic in everything that we do.” – Wendell Pierce

“I have started a new grocery store chain called Sterling Farms. And our business model is to go into underserved areas, into food deserts, and try to make them food oases, and make sure that we bring access to fresh, affordable, healthy food.” –Wendell Pierce

“I hire 50-60 people a store. In-source – first-source hiring from that neighborhood. It creates an economic engine. We give people a ride home. If they buy $50 of groceries, we have the Sterling Shuttle to give them a ride home. Because, we’re taking into account, they had to ride the bus to get to the store.
That’s what American ingenuity is all about.” – Wendell Pierce

Walmart vs. Costco

“I would say to Republicans who say we have too much regulation, 'We wouldn’t need regulation if most people acted like Costco. If you act like human beings, we don’t have to regulate. The problem is that business people don’t.'” – Bill Maher

“Everybody here are consumers. We have power. And, you’re right. I love what Costco is doing. And so, go buy Costco. And if you don’t like what Walmart is doing, don’t shop Walmart. Use your consumer power. Don't have government – let consumers do it. Let the marketplace decide.” – Bob Ehrlich

“Why do we have to incentivize oil companies with development and research, billions of dollars? But, then you say to that mother with a child, 'You can’t get food stamps, because we want to drug test you.'” – Wendell Pierce

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