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Quotes

MAHERISMS:

"Iran said it's never going to produce nuclear weapons. They may executive produce, but they will never produce." -Bill Maher

"And, gutting food stamps? Oh, brave! So brave! Finally, someone willing to stand up to Big Hunger." -Bill Maher

"Grand Theft Auto 5 made $800 million in one day. People say America can't export our values anymore? This proves we can. Unfortunately, our values are car theft and mass shootings." -Bill Maher

"I'm in favor of universal coverage and I'm in favor of reform. But, you do not do this in one gigantic leap. This is exactly how you make terrible, terrible mistakes."

ON HIS BOOK, STILL FOOLIN' 'EM: WHERE I'VE BEEN, WHERE I'M GOING, AND WHERE THE HELL ARE MY KEYS:

"I actually thought that I was going to go out on the road and do stand-up, because I haven't done that in a long time. When I've been on the road, it's been out with my Broadway show, '700 Sundays.' " -Billy Crystal

"I started writing stuff that I thought, well, I've got something to talk about, you know, which is good for a comedian. And I thought, well, I'll write about what's going on, and what gravity is doing, and it became very funny." -Billy Crystal

OBAMACARE:

"What they're trying to correct is a law that's a mess. And Republicans need a plan." -David Frum

"Why not just tweak the thing? Why do they have to throw it out with the baby? I don't get that. Fix it." -Joy Behar

"The thing that they're trying to stop here is 30 million people getting health insurance." -Chris Hayes

"I'm in favor of universal coverage and I'm in favor of reform. But, you do not do this in one gigantic leap. This is exactly how you make terrible, terrible mistakes." -David Frum

"We all agreed at one point before Obama became the president that we had to do something about the one thing that was more than anything else blowing a hole in the deficit in our economy. What was going up? The cost of healthcare." -Bill Maher

"What conservatives are trying to do is sabotage the pool by getting young people not to join. And the reason they want to do that is both to destroy Obamacare, but also to unbind the social contract." -Chris Hayes

THE "OPT OUT OF OBAMACARE" AD:

"I guess the message of that ad is supposed to be the government is going to get here. But, the government is only saying to a young woman, 'You're going to have to buy a policy from Aetna.' The message I think that's going to reach young people is, 'Republicans are creepy pervs who are always thinking about women's lady-parts!'" -Bill Maher

"What if the Democrats put out an ad of a woman who has ovarian cancer and can't get insurance? Let's see that ad." -Joy Behar

"What Republicans need to do, is they need to have a platform that appeals to the country, and they need to speak to the country. And, though this debate, they have been speaking inside Washington, inside Congress. They've been playing a parliamentary game. " -David Frum

LABELING GMOS:

"If they're completely safe for us, and they're proud of this, and that we need it to feed the world, et cetera, et cetera, all the propaganda of the industry, why can't we have the label?" -Jeremy Seifert

"This idea of making the crop and then making the insecticide that they spray on the crop, and making the crop immune to the insecticide, so you have to buy both. And then patenting seeds. That seems a little like not the American farmer image I have." -Bill Maher

"And it seems that there's a fear there that we'll reject this food and then they'll be
out of business. It's a corporation thinking about profits." -Jeremy Seifert

POPE FRANCIS:

"It's so funny that him and the president of Iran both sort of had this epiphany like,
'Wow, we could be much more popular if we just stopped being a**holes!'  You know, what a concept!" -Bill Maher

"It's nice. Also, he loves Mozart. He loves Dostoyevsky. He's like a metrosexual, the guy." -Joy Behar

"What's fascinating is that there are no changes to the catechism. And maybe we'll see some substantive changes. Maybe we'll see Vatican III or something like that. But, for now, it is all about tone. But tone matters a lot." -Chris Hayes

"One of the things that I hope comes out of this is, if we get people who are often hostile to religion to see again the tremendous beneficial power that religion and organized religion can have to do good and to give a little bit of the benefit of the doubt to this incredibly important religious institution, the Roman Catholic Church." -David Frum

Episode 294

September 20, 2013