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Quotes

MAHERISMS:

"McCain loves war so much, he resents meth labs because they blow themselves up." -Bill Maher

"The peacemaker, of course, is Vladimir Putin. I love this plan. He is going to help us secure the chemical weapons, because if there is one thing you can trust Putin with, it's poison." -Bill Maher

SYRIA:

"He has been all over the map trying to figure out exactly which pieces of this particular Middle East puzzle he wants to play with and wants to put together." -Michael Steele

"We still just can't solve this problem permanently without occupying the country. And could we suck any more at occupying countries?" -Matt Taibbi

"Not to say that I want to attack Syria, but I do think that there is something to be lost in the world if you no longer have any rules of war." -Zanny Minton-Beddoes

"The proof on this, it's eerily similar to the Iraq thing. And, I'm not saying assad wouldn't do this. I'm just saying what they seem to have is YouTube videos." -Bill Maher

"If the U.N. cannot look at this and say, 'You know what? When you are gassing people in your own suburbs, and we still don't vote to go in...' What is the point of that big building in New York? Why don't we just turn that into a disco?" -Bill Maher

"You've had this civil war over the past year or so. You've had hundreds of thousands of people killed by the government within the country. And, yet, there's been nothing. So, all of a sudden, they're going to come onto the stage and be the policemen? It's not credible." -Michael Steele

JAPAN'S RADIOACTIVE DANGERS:

"If the world is going to get together and unite to invade some country that's poisoning us, it shouldn't be Syria. It should be Japan." -Bill Maher

"Japan definitely is not handling the situation on its own. And, to its credit, they've gotten the message and they are asking for help." -Dr. Edwin Lyman

"They thought that they had really mastered nuclear technology. And they had really fooled the rest of the world into thinking that. And then this happened, and we discovered exactly how bad their regulation was." -Dr. Edwin Lyman

"I read that there are 300 tons of radioactive water leaking into the ocean every day. And this is two-and-half-years after the event occurred. This is what I think should be page one of the newspaper every day." -Bill Maher

"They have a plan. The idea is to build an enormous ice dam; essentially freeze the soil about a mile long around the site, and try to prevent water from actually infiltrating the site and entering the ocean." -Dr. Edwin Lyman

GUN CONTROL / COLORADO'S RECALL ELECTION:

"In the recall election, freedom came back to life, hungry for brains. And I think the message was, 'Do not f*ck with gun nuts, because they are nuts about their guns.'" -Bill Maher

"As you look at the upcoming primaries going into 2014, if you look at subsequent local elections, absolutely, this is going to hang very large  over the political process." -Michael Steele

"The part of this story that I found really interesting in Colorado was that you can have -- you know, you have these state senators who are then recalled on one issue that the NRA doesn't particularly like." -Zanny Minton-Beddoes

"Let me tell you how crazy for guns they are. The Des Moines Register this week had a headline: 'Iowa Grants Permits for Blind Residents to Carry Guns in Public.'" -Bill Maher

"There's a town in Georgia -- Kennesaw, Georgia -- where it's actually mandatory to carry guns." -Matt Taibbi

"If you think Democrats got scared about guns after Al Gore lost Tennessee in 2000, this is where they're really going to get scared." -Bill Maher

THE POLITICIZATION OF SCIENCE:

"Innovation is what's going to make the economy grow. And, in order to have innovation, you have to have scientifically literate students being graduated from all kinds of schools." -Bill Nye

"When people say we can reconcile science and faith -- no, we can't." -Bill Maher

"In science, it's when you have claims. That's the big deal. So, if you claim the earth is 10,000 years old, that's just wrong. Rubidium become strontium and it has this extraordinary half-life, and that's how we determine these things." -Bill Nye

COLLEGE LOANS:

"The average student now leaves school owing $27,000. Student loans have passed credit cards to become the largest pile of debt we owe, topping a trillion dollars back in 2011." -Bill Maher

"The issue is that the college tuition is a scam. Prices are just ridiculously high." -Matt Taibbi

"It's the way they're structured. If you look at the expanse of vice presidencies at college universities around the country, you look at the time that an actual professor is in the classroom, versus a T.A. or a teacher's assistant in that classroom, all of that's changed." -Michael Steele

"People need and want a college degree. They can get the financing through the whole student loan business. There's no kind of need for these universities to compete on price." -Zanny Minton Beddoes

"They can take anything else if you owe student debt. They can take your tax returns. They can take your disability income. You can't declare bankruptcy, so you can never get out from under these loans. So, it has a devastating effect on people." -Matt Taibbi

Episode 293

September 13, 2013