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Quotes

MAHERISMS:

"Whether it's border security or gun rights or gay issues, they always have the same fear: someone coming in the back door." -Bill Maher

"The American Medical Association declared obesity a disease. Wow. People are already taking advantage of this. They're calling in sick with a case of the
'fats.'" -Bill Maher

"A Congressman from Texas named Michael Burgess says that fetuses masturbate in the womb. I could not make this up. He's saying fetuses masturbate in the womb. Pregnant women, you thought that was the baby kicking?" -Bill Maher

"What does it take for Republicans to take off the flag pin and say, 'I am just too embarrassed to be on this team'?"

ON SAUDI ARABIA & HER FILM, "WADJDA":

"Saudi Arabia is very conservative, and a lot of our activities for a woman is very restricted. And I wanted make a film that, like, empowers women, and especially young girls, to embrace their potential and move ahead. And, you know, it's really hard and heavy in Saudi Arabia. But, still, it's very important to move ahead and just not complain about the situation." -Haifaa Al Monsour

"It's a country where they go for vacation in Spain, in the U.S. They're all over the world. And they come back with ideas. It is not like before. So, Saudi Arabia, ironically, is moving towards becoming more moderate, while the rest of the Arab world is becoming more conservative." -Haifaa Al Monsour

EXODUS INTERNATIONAL (A MINISTRY HELPING GAY CHRISTIANS BECOME STRAIGHT) SHUTTING DOWN:

"We need to look at this stuff more closely. And this is a good issue--a good prism through which to look at it." -Bob Herbert

"What I found so hopeful about this was that they actually made their decision somewhat based on evidence. They said, 'After all these years of trying to turn gays into straights, we found our cure rate was zero.'" -Bill Maher

THE IRS SCANDAL INVESTIGATION:

"Issa wanted it to have originated in the White House, and said that it would. And it didn't. And the fact that it sort of ended with a whimper and not a bang, I don't think most people understand that it's essentially crumbled." -Josh Green

"I still think, just for, the sort of peace of mind of everybody else that has to write a check at the end of every year that it wouldn't be a terrible thing to continue this investigation and say...I don't care if it comes from Obama; I'd just like the agency to be looked at." -Julia Reed

"Issa had the opportunity to conduct this investigation. He's the committee chairman. The point was that he was only interested in hanging this around Obama's neck." -Bob Herbert

"He's clean. And, basically, his government is clean. And these scandals have proven that. The government is basically clean. They're not f**king with people in any way, except reading our email." -Bill Maher

MASTURBATING FETUSES:

"What does it take for Republicans to take off the flag pin and say, 'I am just too embarrassed to be on this team'?" -Bill Maher

"Here's an easy rule of thumb. Anytime a Republican says something weird or inappropriate about rape or masturbation, it all comes back to the issue of wanting to outlaw abortion." -Josh Green

"Okay, I agree that the stupidest people on this particular subject are definitely Republicans." -Julia Reed

IMMIGRATION:

"It's going to make the border patrol bigger than the FBI. You could put one agent every 250 feet. There'll be over 40,000 agents. It's four times more than any of the Republicans were asking for in their wildest dreams. It's like, to get Republican senators to vote for something now, you have to get to crazy." -Bill Maher

"It's a necessary piece of political theater. Because, what happened was, you had this bipartisan "gang of eight," basically agreed on a bill that probably would have gotten 60 votes, somewhere around there. Strategists didn't think that was enough to convince, to force House Republicans to vote." -Josh Green

"This is happening at a time when illegal border crossings are at a record low, and the Obama Administration is deporting people at record high numbers. So, you know, what are we doing here? What's happening?" -Bob Herbert

"And net immigration is zero! Zero! We have to get crazy for a problem we do not have!" -Bill Maher

ON GETTING AMERICANS BACK INTO THE KITCHEN:

"There's a lot of research that suggests that people who eat food that's been cooked by human beings are healthier than people who eat food cooked by corporations." -Michael Pollan

"You say we're outsourcing our eating to corporations. That's a brilliant phrase. Because that's really what we're doing. I never thought of it, that we're outsourcing. And corporations, of course, don't care about our health. They care about selling more shit." -Bill Maher

THE AMA LABELING OBESITY A DISEASE:

"It allows doctors to be reimbursed for having this conversation, which, right now, they're not having because they don't get paid for it. So, that's good. On the bad side, it takes the focus off the food system, which is where the real disease is." -Michael Pollan

"It's also not clear how you define disease, because you think of obesity as some -it's a serious condition, but you think of it as leading to disease, heart disease or diabetes." -Bob Herbert

"Of course, it's more money for them. No doctor ever went, 'I got your test results back and I'm afraid you're fat.'" -Bill Maher

"Americans have been gaining weight for 30 years. I don't see the harm in designating this a disease, if only as a sort of last-ditch effort to get people to sort of realize pretty soon we're all going to be on scooters." -Josh Green

Episode 287

June 21, 2013