New Rule: [slide of Miss Utah] Miss Utah who answered a question about working women's salaries by rambling on about how we need to "create education better"...has to admit those earrings are actually weights designed to keep her head from floating off her neck.Look, just don't ask beauty queens about the social impact of gender-based wage disparity. They get stumped by questions like, "What do you read?" [slide of Sarah Palin interview]
New Rule: [slide of obese man wearing giant crucifix necklace and Speedo swimsuit] Your crucifix cannot be bigger than your bathing suit.We get it. You're a Christian.Now, put some pants on before you turn the other cheek.
New Rule: When it comes to Jimmy Hoffa, you could turn up pictures of him f**king Amelia Earhart in the Lost City of Atlantis...and I still don't care if you find his grave.
Leave it alone! He's a dead guy, not America's G-spot.And, I don't know if you noticed, but while you were looking for this one union leader, the unions died.Thank you.
New Rule: [slide of George Zimmerman] Now that George Zimmerman has put on so much weight, the prosecution must explore the theory that he killed Trayvon Martin for his Skittles.
New Rule: [slide of "hairy" stockings] The new Chinese trend--stockings that look like hairy legs--must never come to America.Never. Hairy-leg stockings were designed to ward off sexual attention from men. And, you know what? Why not? Men have a product that wards off sexual attention from women. It's called the Toyota Tercel. [slide of beat-up, old Tercel]