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Quotes

MAHERISMS:

"This week, the Obama Administration is experiencing multiple scandals. And the Republicans are having multiple orgasms. Three scandals at once? Rush Limbaugh today said, 'I feel like I'm on Oxycontin again!'" -Bill Maher 

"The press is in a frenzy about this, too. They're like a crack addict looking for a rock in the carpet." -Bill Maher

"They are so obsessed with this. Amanda Knox could fall down a well and get eaten by a shark, they wouldn't report it this week." -Bill Maher

"To me, it's not a right-and-left thing. It's just common sense. I think food will become the new cigarettes. I really do."

POLITICAL DYSFUNCTIONALITY IN AMERICA:

"I should think a lot of it is structural. I think it's everything from the way we fund our politics, the way we draw up our districts, the way we choose our presidents, the way money acts more than anything else in politics. The media makes it more difficult because we narrowcast rather than broadcast." -Richard Haass

"If we can fix that, we can deal with the economy. We can get this country growing at the level it should be. We can deal with the threats we have." -Richard Haass

THE IRS SCANDAL:

"This is about omission rather than commission. And I think what we will find ultimately is that the administration clearly understood what was happening. I think that's where it's going." -Andrew Ross Sorkin

"The government cannot take an opinion on your personal politics and then use the tax code to punish you based on it. And that's what was happening. I don't need it to be illegal for it to be a scandal. And the president did not have to know about it for it to be a scandal." -SE Cupp

"They were being asked the questions because they don't want to pay taxes. They actually should be paying taxes. There's too much of this going on. And, frankly, the real problem with the IRS is that they let General Electric not pay any taxes. And 50 other corporations, that's the real scandal." -Michael Moore

"Isn't it also a scandal, the way we do campaign finance? This is a result of Citizens United. We gave the IRS a task they shouldn't have: to try to tell whether these people are political or a social welfare group." -Bill Maher

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS SCANDAL:

"What the DOJ did, was circumvent that negotiation process and say, 'We're going to get it without you; we don't need you.' So, you lose the shield between the source and the reporter. It really is going to make it harder to have these kinds of stories of national security reported on fairly by the press." -SE Cupp

"I'm just surprised, because ten years ago, we all gave up privacy, and Republicans loved it." -Bill Maher

"The real danger in this is because we allowed the government to take so many of our privacy rights away from us in the name of protecting us when what was really the terrorism that was taking place during the last decade was the middle class was destroyed by corporate America and George W. Bush." -Michael Moore

"Ultimately, our democracy works better  when there's a free press, and it works better when we can get sources on the telephone who don't think that their conversations are being recorded." -Andrew Ross Sorkin

THE SHRINKING DEFICIT:

"Doesn't this destroy, first of all, that talking point that the Republicans had about how, oh, 'if you raise taxes on the richest two percent, it's not going to make much of a difference.'  Actually, it made a big difference." -Bill Maher

"I don't know what kind of condom they put over their talking points." -Michael Moore

"I'll give credit to Obama, but a lot of this is Bernanke. He's printing the money. And that's why we're in this situation." -Andrew Ross Sorkin

HEALTHCARE:

"The implementation of the Affordable Care Act is a ticking time bomb, and those medical costs, both at a personal level and at a national level, are going to go up." -SE Cupp

"This is the heart of Obama. This is the heart of capitalism. I'm wondering why the people who love the free market so much are not for this." -Bill Maher

"I worry that the conversation we're having now about all of these scandals, and the fact that we don't trust the government, that's what's actually going to undermine this whole conversation." -Andrew Ross Sorkin

ON KNOWING WHERE YOUR FOOD COMES FROM:

"Hardly a week goes by when I don't try to get after Monsanto on this show. And, Obama, what a disappointment he has been. They passed the, you know, 'Monsanto can do whatever the hell they want' Act, a couple of weeks ago. They slid it into a bill. And it basically protects this company." -Bill Maher

"To me, it's not a right-and-left thing. It's just common sense. I think food will become the new cigarettes. I really do." -Zach Galifianakis

Episode 283

May 17, 2013