Episode 278

April 12, 2013



"I want Kim Jong Un to test a missile, because it's always a spectacular disaster. He's the only Asian in the world who doesn't test well." -Bill Maher

"This is why we should not get our hopes up about a gun control bill. Because it's like talking about fire safety with a pyromaniac." -Bill Maher

"First we heard their beef meatballs contained horse. Now we hear their elk-meat lasagna contains pork. Okay, we get it: IKEA meat is anything that bleeds and runs slower than a Swedish guy with a saw." -Bill Maher

"You're not allowed to go to Cuba unless you bring back a pitcher. That's the rule. A right-hander with a hard slider."


"The tar sands are the dirtiest. They're absolutely the dirtiest oil you could possibly imagine. And everyone is saying it's 20% more carbon than the oil we use." -Peter Byck

"Natural gas has the best storytellers in the world behind them, because you think gas is clean. It's just not as dirty as the dirtiest fossil fuel, which is coal." -Peter Byck


"You're not allowed to go to Cuba unless you bring back a pitcher. That's the rule. A right-hander with a hard slider." -Bob Costas

"Why can't we go to Cuba, and Canadians can go to Cuba? You know, it's the stupidest policy we have, not named 'the drug war.'" -Bill Maher


"Enhancing background checks, I think, if you ask a lot of gun advocates -- gun safety advocates --they'll tell you that enhancing background checks is one of the single most effective things that we can do." -Stephanie Cutter

"I think a lot of us who are in favor of common sense gun control have to concede that gun control is not the only aspect of it. Obviously, mental health is an aspect of it." -Bob Costas

"The problem with the gun debate, is that it's a constant center-right debate. There's no left in this debate. Everyone on the left is so afraid to say what should be said, which is, 'The Second Amendment is bullsh*t.'" -Bill Maher

"We're up against a 21st-century state equipped with drones, hundreds of satellites in the sky watching everything we do. And why would you believe that an 18th-century citizen militia equipped with the equivalent of muskets has anything to do with liberty? It doesn't!" -David Stockman

"They think actually Jesus delivered the Constitution. [You know, that's why we can't change the amendment." -Bill Maher


"Servers in America have three times the poverty rate of the rest of the U.S. work force, and use food stamps at double the rate of the rest of the U.S. work force." -Saru Jayaraman

"Back in 1996, they struck a deal with Congress saying that they would not oppose the overall minimum wage continuing to rise as long as the minimum wage for tipped workers stayed frozen forever. And so it has for the last 22 years. It's been stuck at $2.13 an hour." -Saru Jayaraman


"We've had this philosophical debate since 1970, when I was first on Capitol Hill. And people will never agree about the facts. But, it's logical, if you raise the cost of running a business on the margin, you are going to eliminate employment." -David Stockman

"This is the debate we have every time we talk about the minimum wage, that if we raise it even 50 cents, that it means employers are just going to shut down. It's not true." -Stephanie Cutter

"We've actually proven that if you were to raise the minimum wage to $10, and the tip minimum wage to $7, it wouldn't cost the consumer more than 10 cents a day, even if the businesses passed it on 100% to consumers." -Saru Jayaraman

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