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Quotes

MAHERISMS

"Do you know that in Italy, they actually make pope cards, like little baseball cards? Yeah. And when a boy sticks one in his back pocket, it whispers, 'This is our little secret.'" -Bill Maher

"Also, they said when he was archbishop in Buenos Aires, he could have taken the car they provide. He took the bus. That's right. An old guy on the bus mumbling about Jesus. When do you ever see that, huh?" -Bill Maher

HUNGER IN AMERICA

"We need a government response. Programs like WIC, SNAP, the school breakfast and lunch programs, they work. And they just need to be funded." -Tom Colicchio

"85% of the families that receive SNAP benefits or food stamp benefits, have at least one member of the family working. And 70% of them are working full time.

These aren't 'takers.'" -Tom Colicchio

"You've got more people dying of obesity this year for the first time on the planet, than of hunger." -Tom Davis

"I think that hunger issues need to become a voting issue. Just like Second Amendment issues are, and just like reproductive rights are, hunger needs to become a voting issue. And, quite frankly, if our elected officials aren't going to get behind this and fix it, they should be labeled 'pro-hunger'." -Tom Colicchio

"When you're looking at our high-income kids versus the other countries' high-income kids, ours are not performing well."

PERFORMANCE ISSUES IN AMERICAN SCHOOLS

"When you're looking at our high-income kids versus the other countries' high-income kids, ours are not performing well." -Michelle Rhee

"Whenever we're  measuring the progress of students in schools, we have to take into account where the kids are beginning. You can't set a goal for all schools and all kids at the same level for a given year, without taking into consideration where they're starting." -Michelle Rhee

THE BLOOMBERG SODA BAN

"Save the cup and then buy two and pour them in there. I mean, it's not like we're banning soda. We're just making it more inconvenient to do the thing that's going to kill you fast." -Rachel Maddow

"The costs of this to society are much higher. That's a great reason to try to discourage that kind of consumption. And one way to do that is through 'sin tax'" -Jared Bernstein

ON OHIO SENATOR ROB PORTMAN SUPPORTING GAY RIGHTS BECAUSE OF HIS GAY SON

"A generation ago, they were, you know, they were quiet about it. They were quiet about it. They were in the corners. They're out about it. This is a generational issue. This took considerable political risk for Rob Portman to speak out on this." -Tom Davis

"I think it would take a lot more risk for someone to do it who didn't have a gay son." -Bill Maher

 "I want to try to arrange for every Republican who signed onto the Paul Ryan budget to wake up with a poor son because then all of a sudden, you won't want to cut food stamps. You won't want to cut child school nutrition." -Rachel Maddow

THE DEFENSE BUDGET

"Our defense budget is bigger than the next 13 countries combined. We're like a woman with big, giant, fake tits who does nothing but think about getting her tits done and getting them bigger." -Bill Maher

"After 9/11, we had the largest discretionary part of the budget is the defense budget, right? Bigger than 13 other countries or nearest rivals combined. What did we do after 9/11? We doubled it. What do we do after that? We doubled it again." -Rachel Maddow

10 YEARS OF IRAQ

"If you looked at America in 1786, it didn't look that great, right? And I also must say, I've got to admit, it's a country that's standing. I thought it wouldn't be." -Bill Maher

"It is of great value to Iran. Iran has an ally that it never had before. It has bigger regional influence.The Shiites have influence there that's cross-border in a way that it never would have been before. So, we did, internationally, affect Iran's sphere of influence." -Rachel Maddow

"If we didn't know what victory in Iraq would look like, what does victory in Afghanistan look like?" -Tom Davis

Episode 275

March 15, 2013