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Quotes

MAHERISMS

"The media keeps asking what's next for Benedict? Next?! He's 85--is he going to go on 'Dancing with the Stars'?" -Bill Maher 

"John Boehner sat behind him with this look on his face. Like a guy enduring a long story from a restroom attendant." -Bill Maher

ON GEORGE ZIMMERMAN/TRAYVON MARTIN  

"I don't know  what the future is. I don't know what the truth is. I think we both want justice done." -Bill Maher

"I think people like George and other concealed-weapon carriers may have that weapon to begin with because of the situation they find themselves in." -Robert Zimmerman, Jr.

Re: George Zimerman calling police; "It happened not because George was racist. Because he really had a problem with crime, and that community was victimized constantly by crime." -Robert Zimmerman, Jr.

"The difference between the Republicans and the Democrats is the Republicans love guns, and the Democrats like guns."

OBSTRUCTION BY THE REPUBLICAN HOUSE MINORITY 

"It's never been perfect, obviously, but it's been better than this. Jefferson argued that the will of the majority should prevail as long as it's not violating the rights of the minority. This is inverted to some extent at this point." -Jon Meacham

"The problem is that Republicans are afraid to sit down and work with President Obama because, you know, they might get stigmatized that they're working with a pragmatic president." -Donna Brazile

"Without presidential leadership and a public response to that, he's basically got to go over the Congress. And that's the Jefferson/Jackson/Lincoln/FDR/Reagan model. Where you just force them into it." -Jon Meacham

 THE GOP VS. CHUCK HAGEL AND JOHN KERRY 

"It's a little strange when you have never been to war, and you eye-roll about a guy who's got shrapnel still in his body, as Chuck Hagel does." -Bill Maher

"They keep changing the goal posts, Yes, they're going after all his speeches, his talking points, things he wrote on a napkin in the middle of the night and now they want to see all his financial disclosures, of course." -Donna Brazille

"Hagel and Kerry, between them, have five Purple Hearts. Kerry has a Silver Star, a Bronze Star, two Purple Hearts, all of which Ted Cruz has seen in the bottom of a bowl of Lucky Charms." -Bill Maher

"There's a lot of speeches that people are still trying to vet Chuck Hagel on. He's only got through the committee, the Armed Services Committee, on Tuesday. Now, they wanted to vote up-and-down on Thursday. Senators still want to look through things." -Jamie Weinstein

GUN CONTROL 

"The difference between the Republicans and the Democrats is the Republicans love guns, and the Democrats like guns." -Bill Maher

"There are at least six Democratic senators up in 2014 from conservative states, where, by voting for an issue like this, it could hurt them in the states. So, there are some Democrats who might not want to see a vote come up on this." -Jamie Weinstein

"I come from a family with guns, responsible gun owners. They want to see these loopholes closed at these gun shops. So, I think we're going to make progress. And it's going to be helpful, long-term." -Donna Brazile

THE PREVALENCE OF REALITY TELEVISION

"It is a virus. And there's so many channels now. And you can practically do anything. I mean, the fact that there is a show about animal hoarding is incredible. You would have never dreamed that." -Joel McHale

"'My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding' now has a spinoff, 'The Gypsy Sisters.'  And, I'm not even talking about the Kardashians." -Joel McHale

Episode 272

February 15, 2013