"I wish somebody would make a connection between constantly writing blank checks for weapons and the fact that we have no money."
"I would pay to watch Rick Perry defend himself against a school shooter with prayer." -Bill Maher
"I want to make this very clear about Lance Armstrong's admission: it does not in any way change my feelings about the sport of cycling. I still don't give a sh**." -Bill Maher
"The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama, thinking his family needs special protection." -Bill Maher