Maherisms:

"Wednesday was the longest day of the year. Of course, every day seems like that when Mitt Romney makes a speech...He has the oratorical skills of the OnStar operator." -Bill Maher

"Eric Holder...is now in contempt of Congress. But, honestly, at this point, who isn't?" -Bill Maher

"I had a stroke about 15 years ago and I lost my voice. Now, what does an actor do who loses his voice?...Wait for silent pictures to come back." -Kirk Douglas

"Issur Danielovich Demsky, which had been a great name if I was a ballet dancer." -Kirk Douglas

On the "Fast & Furious" Scandal:

"I've heard on Fox News this week it's worse than Watergate because 200 Mexicans have died. First of all...Republicans don't care about dead Mexicans." -Bill Maher 

"It is based on a crazy conspiracy theory that the Obama administration is fomenting gun violence in Mexico in order to make Americans anti-gun so they can rescind the Second Amendment." -Rachel Maddow

"When the right gets really upset about there being illegal gun sales that don't have to do with a conspiracy theory...then I think we can talk about it." -Rachel Maddow

"Eric Holder is bad; the Republicans are bad; the drug war is bad. There's a lot of badness in the world." -Nick Gillespie

On Mitt Romney and War Powers:

"[Going to war without congressional approval is] another silent coup, like the filibuster, to change the Constitution." -Bill Maher

"It's more than ten years since we had an authorization of use of military force after 9/11, and that justifies everything that we're doing around the world right now." -Rachel Maddow

On Fracking:

"We are talking about an industry that has not been vetted...They are a libertarian's wet dream, but the American people's nightmare." -Mark Ruffalo

"There are real upsides to fracking. And the question is, it's a cost-benefit analysis of things." -Nick Gillespie

On Genetically Modifed Foods:

"In Europe, only 5% of the food is genetically-modified. Here, it's 70%." -Bill Maher

"If I want to make a decision about whether or not to ingest that genetically-modified organism, I don't want it to be kept secret from me." -Rachel Maddow

On "Obamacare":

"It didn't have to be that way...if the Democrats had sold this as they should have, it would be popular." -Bill Maher

"82% of the American public in the polls wanted to get healthcare costs under control. The focus of this particular piece of legislation was to extend the coverage, and it ran up a huge additional cost." -Mort Zuckerman

"I'm against 'Obamacare,' because it is taking...from the relatively poor and the relatively young and the relatively powerful, and give money to relatively rich, old people." -Nick Gillespie

"You may not like the deal, but it's not tyranny. It's a deal to bring down healthcare costs." -Rachel Maddow