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Quotes

Maherisms:

"In Baltimore, there was a college student who ate his roommate's brain and heart. Brain and heart? My roommate got pissed off in college when I ate the ramen noodles." -Bill Maher

"Did you see that Miley Cyrus is engaged? I didn't even know she was pregnant." -Bill Maher

"If [Obama's] a socialist, he's a lousy one." -Bill Maher

"Is this always the way capitalism worked? That a company found a homeless guy and they ate his face off?" -Bill Maher

On Scott Walker's Win in Wisconsin:

"This is the worst thing to happen to organized labor in America since the invention of Mexicans." -Bill Maher

"The whole idea of unions, whatever their flaws, if you don't have people acting together to get their wages and benefits up, they don't happen...the unions actually did help build the American middle class. So, it's a huge loss." -EJ Dionne

"I think is the lesson of this is, stick to your guns. Scott Walker stuck to his guns. This is what Republicans always do...and they win. They don't fear polls." -Bill Maher

On Republicans and the Economy:

"Is it treason to purposely block any help for the economy so voters blame the president and turn to the other party?" -Bill Maher 

"[Treason's] a good word you never hear anymore, like a punk rock band name or something. "Treason." It makes you want to commit it." -John Waters

"I don't know what's worse, whether they're doing this on purpose to tank the economy for Obama, or that they actually believe that if you just keep cutting budgets, the economy will eventually get better." -EJ Dionne

On Controversy with the Catholic Church:

"[My catholic education] sticked with me. It caused the rage I had to make 'Pink Flamingos.'" -John Waters

"The Vatican is calling [American nuns] radical is because they want to help poor people as opposed to yell at gay people." -Bill Maher

On China's Resource Grab:

"China has got a whole host of problems. They've got 1.3 billion population, 1.4 billion; 300 million that live like us, a billion people who live in absolute, dire poverty. And the fact of the matter is that they...fundamentally care about driving better living standards in their country." -Dambisa Moyo

"[The Chinese] seem to get something we don't, that power really in this age is about economics...We seem to be the muscle-bound wrestler...we think power is having a giant army." -Bill Maher

On Agriculture Subsidies:

"Nothing bad ever ends in America. You can never kill a bad program." -Bill Maher

"North Dakota and South Dakota have the same number of senators as California, so, our entire political system is tilted toward rural America." -EJ Dionne

On Mayor Bloomberg's Soda Regulation:

"This is why the Tea Party exists, this and Lipitor." -Bill Maher

"They could have banned lattes, which liberals do drink, but they didn't." -Michael Brendan Dougherty

"I don't see how you can ban big sodas. You buy two at a time and you get the same amount anyway." -EJ Dionne

Episode 251

June 8, 2012