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Quotes

Maherisms:

"[Obama] said he was evolving, and then he came out for gay marriage. Conservatives, of course, are furious. Not about the gay thing, about evolution." -Bill Maher

On National Security Issues:

"Al Qaeda was our greatest enemy. And [Obama] destroyed the leadership of old Al Qaeda." -Richard Clarke

"Bin Laden might get a taste of victory...he never thought that he could defeat us militarily. What he thought was he could get us to panic...And we did." -Bill Maher

On Mitt Romney:

"Romney has learned that the way he has gotten where he is, is by pandering to whatever he sees right in front of him, instead of having a set of principles." -David Cay Johnston

On the Economy:

"Since 2000, the number of jobs has been growing at one-fifth the rate of the population." -David Cay Johnston

"If we had Reagan's recovery today, there'd be 6.5 million more people working...Reagan and Obama did two different things, and Reagan's recovery was much better." -Grover Norquist

On Immigration:

"Illegal immigration at the Mexican border now is net zero...Republicans during the primaries were outdoing each other: 'I'm going to build a fence!' 'I'm going to electrify the fence!'...I just want to say to them, 'No one is trying to get into your sh**ty nightclub!' -Bill Maher

"Immigration is not the number one issue for Latinos. It's the jobs and economy, education and healthcare. Immigration falls pretty far down the line." -Eva Longoria

"[Latinos] are not stealing American jobs. Americans are not doing these jobs." -Eva Longoria

"We are the most well-fed nation in the world, on the backs of people who go to bed hungry." -Eva Longoria

On Obesity:

"I have always been a personal-responsibility person. On the other hand, food is kind of like crack now." -Bill Maher

"The apple slice in the 'Happy Meal' is just not working" -Bill Maher

"We don't subsidize asparagus and Brussels sprouts...We need to stop subsidizing the things that are causing harm to us, or we need to start subsidizing things that do well for us." -David Cay Johnston

"Obesity is a problem; it's also a fiscal problem...is there a way to incentivize insurance plans so that people have healthy habits, so that they work out at the gym? Is there ways to incentivize personal responsibility and educate the American public about what foods are better to eat?" -Margaret Hoover

Episode 248

May 11, 2012