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Quotes

Maherisms:

"Can you imagine what Bush would have done if he had gotten Bin Laden? This is a guy who played dress-up to celebrate a war he lost! If he had gotten Bin Laden, he would have spent his whole second term in a Batman costume." -Bill Maher

"The idea that Jimmy Carter is the poster boy for being a p**sy because he never fired a shot, actually, that shows strength. To me, that shows a lot of strength. A lot more than getting us involved in these stupid, pointless military stalemates other presidents got in." -Bill Maher

"It's kind of funny that the Republicans are supporting [the vaginal probe]..." -Bobcat Goldthwait

"Mitt Romney just kind of has a foot-in-mouth disease problem." -Susan Del Percio

On the LA Riots:

"[The LA Riot] was a life-changing event. The repercussions live on. Parts of West Hollywood are still flaming." -Bill Maher

"I remember thinking this is a changing era, and these motherf**kers are not going to keep getting away with this sh**; we got 'em now. Would you believe we didn't have them?" -Arsenio Hall

On Obama's Second Term:

"I think the second term for Obama is more important even than the first. Obviously, it was important to get the first black president elected. But, if the first black president only has one term, America reads that as a failure." -Bill Maher

On Ronald Reagan:

"This Republican Party is totally off the map compared to what Ronald Reagan did. This outfit would never raise taxes. Reagan raised taxes eleven times, nine times on the middle class." -Ed Schultz

"[Reagan's] actually to the left of not only Mitt Romney but, in some ways, Barack Obama these days." -Bill Maher

On the War in Afghanistan:

"I will guarantee you we're not going to be there for that long in a combat role because...your armed forces, your land forces, Army and Marine Corps, are broken." -Lawrence Wilkerson

"[Obama] said, 'This outpost is more than 7,000 from home, but over a decade, it has been close to our hearts.] Bullsh**. It's been completely out-of-sight-out-of-mind for the 99% of Americans who are not involved in the war." -Bill Maher

Episode 247

May 4, 2012