Maherisms:

"There's posters they're putting up all over town, all over the country, that say, 'Kony 2012.' It's a little confusing, though, because today he pulled ahead of Romney in the polls." -Bill Maher

"Rick Santorum has come out against contraception and against college. He wants us literally to be 'f**king stupid.'" -Bill Maher

"How come regional pandering only works in one direction, right? You never see a Southern politician trying to win votes in New York State by saying, 'I read books and make a mean vegan meatloaf.'" -Bill Maher

On Iran and Nuclear Weapons:

"If Iran gets that nuclear weapon, it sets off a nuclear race throughout the entire Middle East. Everybody gets a nuclear weapon." -Amb. Michael Oren

"It's not enough that we say, 'All options on the table.' The Ayatollahs in Tehran actually have to believe us when we say that." -Amb. Michael Oren

"I am no defender of Iran and I'm a big supporter of Israel...There's something about nuclear weapons that does make people pull back, even crazy people." -Bill Maher

On Super Tuesday:

"It was 'the empty suit' versus 'the creep.'" -Bill Maher

"Once both conventions are over, it's an automatic reset between then and November where the candidates now one-on-one have a chance to go out to the public, go out to the country, lay out their case." -Michael Steele

"As I like watching this Republican version of demolition derby and as much damage as it's really doing, the truth is, the recovery, as good as it is, is better on paper still than it is in real life for too many people." -Andy Stern

On a Centrist Third Party:

"I think the idea is a good idea, to have an opportunity, an opening here...You've seen it with the grassroots activism around the country, whether it's Occupy Wall Street, whether it's MoveOn." -Michael Steele

"That's what we need: Occupy to become a real party. That's a leftist party." -Bill Maher

"It's not like there's this magical person who is going to appear who is going to be different than what we already have to vote for." -Bill Maher

On Rush Limbaugh and Freedom of Speech:

"I'm not defending him. I'm defending living in a country where people don't have to be afraid that they might go out of the bounds for one minute. Do we all want to be talking like White House spokesmen?" -Bill Maher

"Once you change the rules, the other side is going to manipulate them. Same thing with free speech." -Catherine Crier

"I would rather put up with Rush Limbaugh and live in a country where we all do have freedom of speech." -Bill Maher

KONY 2012:

"I don't find a problem with this. I think it's a positive thing. And I think we might look back on this week as the week when everything changed for bad guys around the world who could no longer hide." -Bill Maher

"I think it's phenomenal exposure, because, again, it's organic. It's coming from everyday folks who have latched onto this and are beginning to tell this story around the globe. And that's important." -Andy Stern

On the Haves and Soon-to-Haves:

"Everyone aspires to some level of prosperity. No one wakes up in the morning and says, 'All I want to be today is poor.' Everyone is working towards their goals." -Michael Steele

"You can't bounce [out of poverty] when there's a one-percent and a 99%." -Catherine Crier

They believe...whether it's Jesus or a corporation or the corporate entity, that this unidentifiable thing that they can not quite reach...somehow, it's inspiring." -Jon Hamm