Please update your flash player...

Quotes

Maherisms:

"Rick Santorum does not like sex...He released his tax returns this week. And under "withholding," he wrote 'oral sex.'" -Bill Maher

"Mitt Romney could lose his home state of Michigan. He keeps shooting himself in the foot. He wrote an op-ed in the Detroit newspaper reminding him that he opposed the automobile bailout. And then he kicked off his Wisconsin 'Fuck Cheese' tour." -Bill Maher

"If the government said I had to buy murder coverage for Blackwater and drones, I would be pissed off." -Bill Maher

On Prescription Drug Use:

"The United States is 5% of the world population and uses 56% of the painkillers prescribed in the world." -Bill Maher

"As soon as they [celebrities] went to pharmaceuticals, they're dead. It's very subtle. It's very pernicious. And the thinking is so disturbed because, 'hey, I'm just doing what my doctor told me.'" -Dr. Drew

On Mitt Romney:

"The joke this week in Washington is, 'Three guys walk into a bar, a moderate, a conservative and a liberal. And the bartender says, "Mr. Romney, what do you want to drink?'" -Steve Moore

"That's why Romney can't get above the 30%. He doesn't know what he is. The party doesn't know what he is. Nobody likes him." -Eliot Spitzer

"[Romney] can't be to the right to Rick Santorum because there's nothing to the right except Kirk Cameron and the Neo-Nazi Party." -Bill Maher

"[Romney] says, 'I spent my life in the private sector. I know how the economy works.' How many millions of Americans can say that? I mean, what kind of compelling message is that?" -Erin McPike

"You can be a philanderer, you can be a flip-flopper...You've got to be human. People cannot suspect you're actually from the Planet Kolob." -Bill Maher

On Contraceptives and Women's Health:

"Last week, it was the Catholic bishops talking about this, because who better to talk about that issue than 70-year-old virgin men who wear dresses to work?" -Bill Maher

"I think we need separation of health and state in this country. Let's get the government out of the health insurance business, and these decisions about contraceptives go away." -Steve Moore

On Welfare Hypocrisy:

"40% of people in this country who are on Social Security, unemployment or Medicare, say they have not used a government program. What accounts for what I could only call a cognitive dissonance in the American mind?" -Bill Maher

"Two-thirds of Americans are now getting a check from the government every month. That's a big problem." -Steve Moore

On Citizens United:

"Because of Citizens United, you don't really have to fundraise anymore. All you need is that one billionaire." -Bill Maher

"Five is the most powerful number in the United States of America. Five justices can do anything." -Eliot Spitzer

"I think, as a First Amendment principle, Citizens United was correct...It's done horrific things to politics. But, as a First Amendment issue, it's a much more complicated." -Eliot Spitzer

Episode 238

February 17, 2012