Maherisms:

I was at the Occupy Beverly Hills today. It's just two Jews at Starbucks complaining that the scones aren't fresh. - Bill Maher

The Republicans, they spend like drunken sailors - they really do - and then they get into office and they go, "Oh, fuck, who spent all this money?" - Bill Maher

Rick [Perry] has dropped 20 points in the polls in one week. They say he is so depressed about this, he hardly has the energy to execute anybody. It's very sad. - Bill Maher

On Occupy Wall Street:

$6.8 trillion is the amount that the Fed says that Wall Street and the whole Bush crash sucked out of the economy. And almost all of that came out of people like him, the middle class in America, mostly out of housing value. - Thom Hartmann

I wish they would occupy Fannie and Freddie, which were just as problematic. The banks have paid back almost all the money, and we are still paying for Fannie. - Michelle Caruso Cabrera

What they really have to go after is Wall Street in cahoots with the government; the government industrial complex is at fault. - John Fund

They say "class warfare," but, really, when it's only 0.3%, or 0.03%, who has that huge amount of wealth, it's not a class, it's a club. - Bill Maher

On Tax Reform:

We need fundamental tax reform in this country. There are a lot of people who aren't paying taxes, who should be paying taxes. There are a lot of people who use loopholes...If we had a flat tax, or something like a fair tax, we could capture everyone's income, broaden the base. - John Fund

Bush's father had to do the responsible thing. He got unelected for it. He said, "Read my lips: no new taxes." He got into office; he said, "Yeah, we have to raise taxes." Because he was an old-school Republican who paid bills. - Bill Maher

On Religion:

Why is faith good? Why is the purposeful suspension of critical thinking a good thing? - Bill Maher

Faith is the way we are saved. Good works is the proof that we're saved. In fact, Martin Luther, the Catholic priest, said, "Faith alone saves, but saving faith is never alone. There are always works that go along with it."...So, I think works are important. But, not to secure our salvation. They're the result of our salvation. - Pastor Robert Jeffress

I don't think you have to suspend your rational thinking to become a Christian. - Pastor Robert Jeffress

I believe that the best way to become an atheist is to read the Bible. - Penn Jillette

On Defense:

Should we run up the defense bill again? That's what Mitt Romney suggested this week. He said we need 100,000 more troops, as if it was 1980 all over again. But, it's not 1980. - Bill Maher

We spend a trillion dollars a year more than the rest of the world combined when you add it all up. Because, it's soft and gushy around the edges. What is it for? We need to define what it's for, and then we can figure out what to spend the money on. - Michelle Caruso-Cabrera

On The Supermajority And Obamas Jobs Bill:

There has been a quiet coup in this country...The Constitution says a simple majority in the Senate. That's not what we have anymore. - Bill Maher

What this is really all about is what Mitch McConnell said on day one. It's what Rush Limbaugh said on day one: "We want Obama to fail." And so they're going to say no to absolutely everything. - Thom Hartmann

On Cutting EPA Regulations:

The Republicans have one trick, which is to trick the working class into voting for tax cuts for the rich. And then they want to trick the breathing class into cutting protections for the breathers. - Bill Maher

These are actually jobs bills...these relaxed standards are going to cause 2,500 additional cases of cancer every year. Each diagnosed case of cancer is worth a quarter-million bucks to the medical industry. - Thom Hartmann