New Rule: Now that they're both free, Amanda Knox and Casey Anthony have to do a sitcom together. "She's a pretty party girl who probably might have gotten away with murder...and so is she! Tune in Tuesday for ‘Reasonable Doubt.'"
New Rule: It's time to admit that youth hostels are really just hotels that stopped giving a s***.
New Rule: Stop webcasting funerals. The company, "Memorial Streams"--which sounds like a porn star--is hooking up funeral homes with webcams, because nothing says "we miss you, grandpa" quite like watching his funeral on your iMac while eating Cheetos in your underwear. And you know the worst part? Knowing that your funeral will get a million fewer hits than a cat falling off a TV set.
New Rule: ChatRoulette, the website that allows people with webcams to randomly see and talk to other people on their webcams, must change its name to MenMasturbatingTalkingToOtherMenWhoAreAlsoMasturbating. I went on there and I've got to say I never felt more supported.
New Rule: Every American deserves a fair trial before a judge and a jury of his peers. Except this guy. I don't know what he did or is accused of doing, I just know he's guilty. Or the star of a new reality show on A&E called "Skull F***ers."