Episode 224

September 16, 2011



“In today’s Republican Party, there’s a term for people who hate charity and love killing: ‘Christian.’” – Bill Maher

“There’s a big fight within the Republican Party because of Rick Perry’s decision down in Texas to give girls the HPV vaccine, which the right wing hates because it’s a mandate! Republicans hate the word “mandate” almost as much as they hate an actual ‘man date.’” – Bill Maher

“We elected a Democratic president; we don’t really get Democratic policies.” – Bill Maher

“I don’t know what you have to do to get to the right in this party. I think you’d have to come out for slavery. I think that might be what Rick Perry means when he says, ‘Putting people back to work.’” – Bill Maher

“Trying to get today’s Republican to accept basic facts is like trying to get your dog to take a pill. You have to feed them the truth wrapped in a piece of baloney, hold their snouts shut and stroke their throats. And even then, just when you think they’ve swallowed it, they spit it out on the linoleum.” – Bill Maher

“I urge the media to start referring to climate skeptics as what they really are: climate assholes.” – Bill Maher

On the GOP Candidates and the Debate:

“I watched these eight clowns on the stage. At the end of it, I wanted to raise my hand and say I don’t believe in evolution.” – Bill Maher

“I think it’s going to be Perry. I think it’s Perry’s to lose, because ‘Romney-care’ was developed in the same state that the Tea Party was developed.”
– Jennifer Donahue

“There’s been such a lack of leadership coming out Washington, that Republicans have moved so far to the right, they think it’s a base election year. They think they can run so far to the right that people will choose a law-and-order candidate who is proud of executing people.” - Rich Galen

“It’s going to be Perry, it’s going to be Romney…It’s sort of a battle for the soul of the Republican Party – and they have no soul, but the space where a soul would be.” – Bill Maher

“Rick Perry is the bad boy they dream about, but they wind up marrying Mitt Romney.” – Bill Maher

“The idea of negotiating with the President of the United States runs contrary to everything that the Republicans have done since January 20, 2009.” – Keith Olbermann

On Healthcare:

“Why is Mitt Romney not bragging: ‘I covered all these people’? Why can’t the Democrats sell the idea, we’re trying to make you well? Is that such a hard sale?” – Bill Maher

“This is a very wealthy country. We have a lot of money. We have a lot of people who can do a lot of good. There is no reason that healthcare can’t be provided for every single person that needs it.” – Rich Galen

On Obama and jobs

“Obama hasn’t shown the leadership that has allowed the center to go towards him. He’s got his base now after the stimulus bill, after the latest jobs plan, but he doesn’t have the center. The center is wide open.” – Rich Galen

“He kept saying, ‘Pass this bill now, pass it, pass it, pass it!’ I thought I was at Woody Harrelson’s house.” – Bill Maher

“I think Obama gets it. Don’t use the word ‘infrastructure,’ that’s too big a word. People are stupid.” – Bill Maher

“This is like Bush 41 in 1991. We were coming out of a recession and Republicans wouldn’t be seen with him. This is Obama not communicating the urgency of a double-dip recession that could be coming. And it’s him coming out too late with a plan.” – Jennifer Donahue

On Palestinian statehood

“What’s going to be hard for the United States is that our policy for a long time has been a two-state solution; the Palestinians should have their own state. Now, the Palestinians are going to the U.N. and saying, ‘We’re having the U.N. vote to say we have our own state. Well, if that’s your policy, United States of America, why are you vetoing it?’ Which we will do.” – Bill Maher

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