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Quotes

Maherisms:

I think I know now why we are occupying Iraq. In case we have to sell America and move to a smaller country. Bill Maher

Arent [the Tea Party] exactly what the founding fathers feared most? Which is, people who are ignorant about how the way the world works, come to power. Bill Maher

On Carmageddon:

Traffic all around the city, because of this, is going to be tied up all day and all night. They say, people who have road rage, bring extra ammunition. Bill Maher

Theyre fixing a stretch of the roadway. Its an unpleasant bit of business that we have to get through. Sort of the way Michele Bachmanns husband thinks about sex with his wife. Bill Maher

We need a Carmageddon in every city all the time. Because we need to repair our infrastructure. Bill Maher

You cant be concerned about climate control and then expanding roads and making them bigger for more cars. Mark Cuban

We need to build a new infrastructure for a new kind of economy and a new way of living. And we need mass transit and fixed-rail. And not goddamn roads. Dan Savage

On Forks Over Knives:

I dont use meat, right. Or animal foods of any kind. Dr. T. Colin Campbell

Weve been bombarded with so much information from so many different directions, and&we think in such a reductionist way. Dr. T. Colin Campbell

As far as Im concerned, [the food pyramid] is a joke. Dr. T. Colin Campbell

I dont trust the government, because the government, I think, is bought off by the lobbyists from the food industry. Bill Maher

I saw, face to face, firsthand experience, where science meets, basically, politics and industry. Dr. T. Colin Campbell

One thing that I think the public tends not to know is theres not a medical school in the United States that teaches nutrition. Dr. T. Colin Campbell

When you try to tell people what to eat, somehow it got political. Bill Maher

On The Debt Ceiling:

I can understand the Republicans frustration. They came in there pretending to negotiate. The least Obama could do would be to pretend to listen. Bill Maher

The Republican economic plan is like, Were hitchhiking to a Phish concert and if we get a ride from a trucker and he asks us to chip in for gas, we just give him a hand job. Bill Maher

Moodys&will cut our credit rating. They will downgrade us from Triple-A to Ghetto Fabulous. Bill Maher

[President Obama] got a lot of flak a couple of weeks ago when he compared the Republicans to his ten-year-old daughter. Which I think is an insult to ten-year-olds all over the country. Bill Maher

Its stupids economy still. George Bush drove the country off the cliff. Dan Savage

I dont think George Bush did us any favors. Mark Cuban

[The Republicans] make it sound like Obama is Newt Gingrichs wife in Tiffanys. Bill Maher

In 50 years, taxes have never been lower. If the Republican theories about the economy worked, we would be having a boom right now. Dan Savage

Theres always something that accelerates job creation and growth. Right now, we have nothing. Mark Cuban

What is mystifying to me is why the Republicans arent taking this deal. I mean, Obama right now is willing to sign up to a rather right-wing agenda. Chrystia Freeland

You cant run around for three years claiming that Obama is a socialist and the anti-Christ, and out to destroy the country, and a Kenyan and an anti-colonialist, and then say, Oh, but hes got a good idea. Dan Savage

If the U.S. government stops paying its bond-holders, I think that that is a credit event equivalent to Lehman Brothers. Bill Maher

Look, if we dont raise the debt ceiling, there are going to be issues, but what are the alternatives? Where else are people going to put their money? Australia? Mark Cuban

On Sacrifice:

Obama is trying to make this grand bargain right now with the Republicans about how were going to solve our fiscal problems. Isnt the reason we cant make a grand bargain because these people will not sacrifice anything? They love the country. They love the guys who pick up grenades for it. But they wont give up an inch. Bill Maher

In America, if you ask for a show of hands, who will risk their life and fight for America and give their lives for their country, everybody raises their hands. Mark Cuban

Its only poor peoples kids who are serving in these wars. Chrystia Freeland

The reason why our wars are off our radar is because we dont have to fight them&theres no draft. Bill Maher

On Liberals:

Its weird with the liberal sense of humor. Its hard to identify sometimes. Marc Maron

Very often the people at charity events are liberals, because, you know, theyre willing to part with their money. Bill Maher

Liberals are just the worst audience in the world. Theyre just too politically correct. Bill Maher

Its never enough for a liberal&its like, Yeah, the talk about the economy was great, but, you know, what you said about the bluefin tuna was an issue. Marc Maron

You can think for a long time that youre angry for a reason. But, a lot of times, if you just do a little more thinking, youre probably just f**kin angry. Politics becomes a template for your fury. Marc Maron

On The Environment:

If you live in L.A., you know theres global warming, because you know youre not supposed to taste air. Marc Maron

Surely green technologies could be that new thing that people are looking for, but its going to take government spending. Chrystia Freeland

I think we should look to the future not in hopes that our children or grandchildren have better lives, but in hopes that perhaps theyll regrow gills and be able to enter the ocean again. Marc Maron

On Praying Away The Gay:

Every responsible psychological, psychiatric, mental health organization in the country calls it abuse, what they engage in, spiritual and psychological abuse. Dan Savage

You cant pray away the gay, but you can torture a conflicted closet-case to death. Dan Savage

Theyre grifters and scumbags, the Bachmanns. Dan Savage

I just hope that Marcus Bachmann takes all that, you know, that rage that comes from repression and denial, and brings it into the bedroom with [Michele]. Marc Maron

I sometimes think about fuckin the shit out of Rick Santorum. Just because I think he needs it&Ill go up for whipping up some Santorum, in Santorum. Dan Savage

On Rupert Murdoch

Whats the difference between Rupert Murdoch and Larry Flynt? Bill Maher

The big difference is that the Murdochs have huge political influence. Chrystia Freeland

The British political class, they lived in terror of News International. And Fox, I think, has that same power over the Republican candidates. Chrystia Freeland

Both Tony Blair from the left and Margaret Thatcher from the right, they all kissed his ass. Bill Maher

Murdoch had the politicians in his pocket, like so many nickels and dimes. Bill Maher, referencing The Godfather

Karmas a bitch. Mark Cuban

Episode 220

July 15, 2011