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Quotes

Maherisms:

"I have always tried to do a clean, family show...it's the world that's dirty!" -Bill Maher

"Forty percent of America would not vote for Obama if he personally saved them from drowning." -Bill Maher

"[Joshua Green] wrote something in the Atlantic which Sarah Palin will never read, because why read an ocean?" -Bill Maher

"Now, a lot of people say [Glee] is a gay show. You know, it's always on in my bathhouse." -Bill Maher

On "Weinergate":

"I turned on the CBS Evening News' last night. They changed the name of the show to This Week in Cock.'" -Bill Maher

"Of course, with all the publicity Anthony Weiner has gotten, the other Democrats are jealous. Today, Nancy Pelosi had a nip slip.'" -Bill Maher

"When guys like Anthony Weiner do what they do and make headlines for it and don't pay a price, people lose faith in government." -Joshua Green

"I don't think he should [resign] either...I mean, he's a pit bull. We really need him. He's packing a lot of power, obviously. And he's proud of that." -Jane Lynch

"[Anthony Weiner's] sexual tweeting does not negatively impact any of our lives. The lies and the laws that are broken by other politicians that can actually kill you or bankrupt you, that matters. The media spends little to no time on real law-breakers." -Janeane Garofalo

"I'm more appalled by terrorism and the banks raping people than I am about [Weiner] sending pictures of his dick around." -Jane Lynch

"[Anthony Weiner] hasn't broken any laws. And his lying about sex, which everyone does, by the way - everybody lies about sex - has not impacted anyone's lives negatively." -Janeane Garofalo

"You can't talk about Anthony Weiner with your kids. You can't talk about him at the dinner table....It was X-rated." -Sharon Waxman

"I would say the distraction that's created is by a media that's overly obsessed with this stuff because it's easier than doing the hard stuff of the job." -Janeane Garofalo

On the Republican Field:

"I think what's happening is we've entered the why-the-hell-not' phase of the Republican primary, where people who, early on, didn't think they'd have a shot, think, Jesus, if this is all we've got, I'm going to run.'" -Joshua Green

"It's amazing to me that the Mormon is the most sane person in the Republican field" -Bill Maher

"It's pretty sad when Mitt Romney is your profile in courage.'" -Joshua Green

"[Sarah Palin] seems serially incapable of making a case for herself." -Joshua Green

"Reagan was a joke when he started. He got to be president." -Bill Maher

"The last two weeks, [Newt Gingrich] has been on a yacht touring the Greek Isles, stopping only at Tiffany's, on his mission to warn America that Obama is an elitist." -Bill Maher

"The organizing principle of the Republican Party is they're going to cut taxes, and they're probably going to cut taxes for the wealthiest people." -Joshua Green

"Conservatives flatter themselves by saying that their talk-radio gripes about healthcare or whatever, are tantamount to things like D-Day or Washington crossing the Delaware, because, without that, they'd just be a bunch of angry, white men who don't want to pay taxes and don't care about other people." -Joshua Green

On Bigger and Better Things:

"Imagine this: scholarship programs that are bipartisan and relevant, solving problems. Does that sound like the United States Congress?" -Fmr. Rep. Jane Harman, on the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars

"I'm the first president and CEO who happens to be a woman, head of this huge organization in Washington. And I'm very proud of it." -Jane Harman

On Foreign Policy:

"We need a new national security narrative in this country that shows people abroad what we really stand for. And, we don't stand for bombing Muslims." -Jane Harman

"I'm not on [the terrorists'] side; I'm on our side, but, it sort of makes their point a little more sellable when we're bombing that many Arab countries." -Bill Maher

"We should let people in their countries choose who their leaders are. We should build political capacity in these countries, not military capacity in these countries." -Jane Harman

On Climate Change:

"I am pledging right now - I will never again say global warming.' That was a bad term. It allows idiots, when it gets cold out, to say, Huh, where's your global warming now?'" -Bill Maher

"Young people have to care about [climate change] more than I do." -Bill Maher

On Doubling Down:

"I used to be a lot more bipartisan. But, I feel [conservatives] left me; I didn't leave them. Because they seem to be doubling-down on what doesn't work, which really pisses me off." -Bill Maher

"The Republicans just double-down when they're wrong. They don't ever go back and say, You know what? I didn't get that right; I was just wrong.'" -Bill Maher

"They will say they were wrong when they supported healthcare and climate change." -Janeane Garofalo

Episode 216

June 10, 2011

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