Episode 210

April 15, 2011

Quotes

Maherisms:

“Obama made a big speech…and Joe Biden fell asleep. Which looks bad for him. On the bright side, he may be named an air traffic controller.” –Bill Maher

“Mitt Romney said he thinks Obama is an American who was born in Hawaii. It’s not all that reassuring when the least-crazy candidate is the Mormon.” –Bill Maher

“Isn’t the problem that almost all the Republicans are conservative, but not all the Democrats are liberal?” –Bill Maher

On The Budget:

“The good news: they cut all the money out of repairing federal buildings. So there is a slight chance a wall will collapse on Eric Cantor.” –Bill Maher

On The Japanese Nuclear Reactor:

“We physicists knew that there was an uncontrolled release of radiation into the atmosphere. It’s so radioactive that the workers there are like Samurai. It’s a suicide mission.” –Michio Kaku

“I keep having this mental image of the utility managers, like Homer Simpson operating a nuclear power plant.” –Michio Kaku

“This is a science experiment, and we are the guinea pigs for this science experiment.” –Michio Kaku

“I’ve heard many times on the news people saying they could not have predicted what would happen. But, isn’t this what happened with Godzilla?” –Bill Maher

“If we keep on releasing radiation into the atmosphere, I say, call out the military and just bury the sucker.” –Michio Kaku

On The Green Power Struggle:

“With the rising price of fossil fuels and the falling costs of solar, renewable, wind power…market forces may make solar very competitive with fossil fuels.” –Michio Kaku

“In a ten-year time frame, an enormous amount of carbon dioxide will go in the atmosphere, and I think by mid-century, some of our great cities may be underwater unless we put dikes around them.” –Michio Kaku

On Taxes:

“It is tax day…the day when we all get to fork over our money so we can buy prescription drugs for old people and occupy two Arab countries, and give welfare to defense contractors and farmers.” –Bill Maher

“We’re in the middle of an economic meltdown.” –Amy Walter

“The American people want more money in the Treasury and a little bit more sanity in how we spend our money.” –Ed Schultz

“Tax cuts for the rich have not created the jobs that the Republicans said they were going to. It is a failed economic policy.” –Ed Schultz

“[Cutting taxes on the wealthy] is where the Democrats also have some problems in terms of the credibility.” –Amy Walter

“This idea that, if we raise the taxes just three or four percent on the rich that we’re not going to be able to create jobs, that’s wrong!” –Ed Schultz

On Defense:

Remember that song, ‘War! What is it good for?’ Business. It’s good for business.” –Bill Maher

“Republicans aren’t hoodwinking anybody to stay. This is the president’s decision through his Secretary of Defense to stay [in Iraq].” –Michael Steele

“Somehow there’s waste, fraud and abuse all through the government, but the Pentagon? Perfect.” –Bill Maher

“How disappointing that this Democratic president is the one who can’t cut [the defense budget] even a little, who keeps raising it.” –Bill Maher

On France’s Burqa Ban:

“I have been wrestling with this. This is an issue that I feel like you flip the coin, it lands on its edge for me.” –Bill Maher

“I surprised myself, because you know what I came up with? I’m against it. I’m against that ban. As much as I hate what is behind making women wear that…it’s still a thought crime.” –Bill Maher

“I don’t think you can tell people in a free country what they can wear.” –Bill Maher

“The veil represents a wider culture, a tribal, a parochial, a patriarchal culture that winds up actually taking more choices away from women and men than it gives.” –Irshad Manji

“I have to ask myself what is the greater good for the greater number…and in this case, I have to say I think it is banning the veil in public spaces.” Irshad Manji

“If your hormones are going to swing out of control at the sight of a woman, actually lower your gaze, take personal responsibility, look down and keep looking down until…it comes down.” –Irshad Manji

“Probably no suicide bomber, after he died, people said, ‘You know, that guy, he blew everybody up, but, boy, he got laid a lot.’” –Bill Maher

“This is tribal culture that is inflicting this kind of childishness, this kind of infantilization on men.” –Irshad Manji

On Senator Jon Kyl’s “Not Intended To Be Factual” Statement

“If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Parenthood. And that’s well over 90% of what Planned Parenthood does.” –Sen. Jon Kyl

“I don’t want to say that he’s an evil liar who insults the intelligence of all living things including mushrooms and molds, but…we could show a lot of politicians with a lot of lies – to me, this takes the cake.” –Bill Maher

“There’s actually a site – you can go to it – politifact.com – and they’re one of the very few groups out there that’s trying to actually hold politicians and other people in the media accountable for what they say.” –Amy Walter

“In a world full of lies, I feel this man stands alone.” -Bill Maher

“This is a United States Senator, one of a hundred on the floor of the Senate, throwing out a falsehood, and then admitting to the American people, ‘Well, you know, I really wasn’t too high on the facts, just throwing it out.’” –Ed Schultz

On The Civil War At 150

“Time magazine had a cover that said, “Why Are We Still Fighting the Civil War?” I’d just like to say, WE are not. Nobody here in California ever thinks about the Civil War.” –Bill Maher

“There is one part of the country that is still fighting the Civil War. You’d think 150 years would be long enough to get over this s**t.” –Bill Maher

People say, ‘Why do you go and do shows in the South?’ Because I want them to know they’re not written off by me. There are a lot of smart people there. They just happen to be surrounded by a bunch of f**kin’ rednecks.” –Bill Maher