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Quotes

Maherisms:

"This week was the beginning of Lent, and for the 35th year in a row, I gave up Catholicism." -Bill Maher

"If you go to Mass, it looks like a Broadway show: all white hair." -Bill Maher

On Natural Disasters:

"Scientists say an 8.9 earthquake here could knock down buildings, flood coastal areas... and improve the roads." -Bill Maher

"They say that Japan's rigorous building codes and regulations saved thousands of lives over there. Or, as Republicans here saw it, it 'fostered a socialist, anti-business environment that's worse than being dead.'" -Bill Maher

"The Republican budget that they submitted for next year, slashes funding for the agency that issues tsunami warnings and organizes responses to the tsunami. Now, in their defense, Republicans says tsunamis are just a theory." -Bill Maher

On Unions & The Economy:

"Wisconsin governor Scott Walker has signed the bill sticking it to the real power brokers in our society: teachers, janitors and bus drivers." -Bill Maher

"Look on the bright side, Wisconsin. If you still want decent wages and healthcare benefits, there's always Canada." -Bill Maher

"I'm curious as to what makes the public sector so holy as opposed to the private sector." -Dana Loesch

"No, I think it's the reverse. It's the private sector workers who are holy. No matter what you do in the private sector - you're working on an oil rig destroying the environment, you're a hero." -Bill Maher

"The unfunded pension liabilities are killing the states." -Tom Davis

"What bankrupts the state is what's bankrupting Washington, which is tax breaks for special interests." -Paul Begala

"Two-thirds of spending in America is on retirees, which means we can't invest in education, research and development, and infrastructure." -Tom Davis

"What's hurt the unions are the information economy and the globalization of the economy." -Tom Davis

"It seems like [the corporations] have done the old trick of pitting the poor against each other." -Bill Maher

"You have people who are over-promised by slimy, skeezy, skanky politicians who all they care about is getting their vote. So, they're going to promise them the world. And they under-deliver." -Dana Loesch

On Newt Gingrich:

"Newt Gingrich loves his country so much it made him cheat on his wife." -Bill Maher

"Newt Gingrich's patriotism is a little different. When he and his intern hear the National Anthem, she gets a lump in HER throat." -Bill Maher

On Extremists & Religion:

"The fact is that Glenn Beck is potentially dangerous, I believe, but he also is somewhat ridiculous and comical." -Rep. Keith Ellison

"It is the business of the Homeland Security Committee to engage violent extremism, no matter what religion or ideology it may happen to be driven by." -Rep. Keith Ellison

"I do believe that religious pluralism is a key component of the human experience... and that we need to have respect for the people who are believers and non-believers." -Rep. Keith Ellison

"I am proud to represent a group of people in my district who are non-theists." -Rep. Keith Ellison

"I would say that the threat, potentially, from radicalized Muslims, is a unique and greater threat." -Bill Maher

"Taking [holy books] out of context is a very easy thing to do." -Rep. Keith Ellison

"Like any ideologue, [radicalized Muslims] will take things out of context to do what they want to do." -Rep. Keith Ellison

"When you find Muslims who reject terrorism, as I do and almost everyone does, it often is for spiritual and religious reasons, and moral reasons. But, when people want to justify it, they justify it on political reasons." -Rep. Keith Ellison

"One of the things that I think we can do to undermine terrorist ideology is actually to use people who know the Qur'an and to go after people like Anwar al-Awlaki who misquote it, misuse it, and don't really understand it." -Rep. Keith Ellison

On Art & Funding:

"Choreography don't crack." -Bill Maher to Bill T. Jones

"Highways and hospitals save people's lives, and art is a diversion." -Bill Maher

"This is what I call participation in the world of ideas. That is what art-making is." -Bill T. Jones

"The government is responsible for the material welfare of the people... government is also responsible for a certain type of education of the people." -Bill T. Jones

"Art - when it is really doing what it should do - teaches abstract thinking; it teaches teamwork; it teaches people to actually think about things that they cannot see." -Bill T. Jones

"We cannot take it for granted that art, like everything else, can be commodified and can compete in a Darwinian environment. It should not have to." -Bill T. Jones

"Funding for the NEA and NPR is infinitesimal. That's not where the money is. The money is in these entitlements. It's in the agricultural subsidies. And we'll spend a week fighting over a little cut there symbolically." -Tom Davis

"I love dance. I love art. Wait. But, I have to say that I am of the mindset that if you love it so much, then show that love with your money." -Dana Loesch

"I will go and I will support art. I voluntarily, willingly, want to do it. But I don't think that it's something that the government [should have to do]." -Dana Loesch

"I'm against American taxpayers subsidizing Exxon Mobil and then not wanting to subsidize Bill T. Jones. I mean, that's crazy!" -Paul Begala

"You can't have the state regulate behavior to the extent that this is." -Dana Loesch

"I have the view that if Exxon can make $100 a barrel, they don't need any incentives from me to drill." -Paul Begala

On Elections:

"Can we please get away from the Southern white male formula of electing candidates?" -Dana Loesch

"You want to hear an interesting story about Tim Pawlenty? So would he." -Bill Maher

"Mitch Daniels gives the fireside chat and the fire goes out." -Tom Davis

"I don't understand why, whenever we talk about the short list for candidates for 2012 why, immediately the women are discounted in the Republican Party." -Dana Loesch

"I like Michele Bachmann as a candidate." -Dana Loesch

"I want some bat-s**t candidates running on the Republican side. I do!" -Paul Begala

"[2012] will be a referendum on Barack Obama. It'll depend on where the economy is, where is Afghanistan. These elections are generally referendums on where is the country at this point." -Tom Davis

On Libya:

"Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said, 'Marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel Maddow are what's ruining this country.'" -Bill Maher

"Newt Gingrich says, 'F**k NATO! The United States of S**tkicking...should go it alone and enforce a no-fly zone this evening is not sooner. Otherwise, we are violating our sacred American tradition of bombing first and asking questions later!'" -Bill Maher

"I think for us to go in alone would be stupid." -Tom Davis

"I don't think we should go in at all." -Dana Loesch

"At the risk of sounding like a Pollyanna here...we're all so moved by these people putting themselves in the way of danger. They're taking a real risk...I think we should take a little risk as well." -Bill T. Jones

"I don't understand why it would be necessary to essentially create the exact same strategy that everyone complained about in Iraq with the Bush Doctrine and replicate it in Libya." -Dana Loesch

"I think we should finish the quagmires we already have on our plate before we order more." -Bill Maher

"I'm just glad we have a president who, when we have a problem in Libya, doesn't freak out and invade Liberia." -Paul Begala

Episode 205

March 11, 2011