Episode 201

February 4, 2011



"It's the hundredth birthday of Ronald Reagan. And all over America, Republicans are going to celebrate this by throwing big parties and then leaving the bill for Democrats to pay." -Bill Maher

"This year, the Super Bowl will be followed by an episode - a brand new episode of 'Glee.' Boy, this is just what America needs: an over-the-top, homo-erotic spectacle...and then 'Glee'!" -Bill Maher

On Egypt:

"I know why you're happy tonight: Egypt wants democracy and we didn't even have to invade it." -Bill Maher

"It would be kind of funny if every country in the Middle East became a democracy except Iraq and Afghanistan. Not funny ha-ha, but just ironic funny." -Bill Maher

"It is really not safe over there. If seeing the pyramids is on your 'bucket list,' may I suggest the Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas? -Bill Maher

"This is beyond the pale. Attacking journalists. They were attacking journalists. At least the people from Fox News were safe." -Bill Maher

"President Obama invited John McCain to the White House to give his opinion on Egypt, specifically what it's like to be a mummy." -Bill Maher

"I'm 43 years old. This the happiest moment of my life." -Mona Eltahawy

"Nobody is in the streets of Cairo and Alexandria or anywhere else in Cairo braving the brutal forces of Hosni Mubarak so that he can get stoning or Sharia. They're out there for freedom and dignity." -Mona Eltahawy

"This entire revolution is about telling these old men who have strangled our countries, 'F**k you, it's time to leave.'" -Mona Eltahawy

"I'm kind of glad Bush and Cheney aren't in office. I don't know what they'd do, but somehow I don't think it would be subtle." -Bill Maher

"I think the only way we retain credibility with the Arab world is to say, 'When push came to shove, despite the mistakes we made in the past, we are with you in democracy.'" -John Fund

"I'm so unaccustomed to protests in the Middle East that don't have 'Death to America' signs. I don't know what to do." -Rep. Anthony Weiner

"It doesn't help us that there are tear gas canisters that say, 'Made in the USA' rolling through the streets of Cairo." -Rep. Anthony Weiner

"Remember, the Islamist view of democracy is: one man, one vote, one election, and that's it." -John Fund

On The Financial Crisis:

"If a couple hundred Wall Street executives were serving long periods of [prison] time, that maybe bankers would be a little more careful next time." -Charles Ferguson

"The RNC was run so badly you could walk through their deepest competence and not get your ankles wet." -John Fund

"You spent all this time talking about the financial crisis, and all I can think of is, how much of that could have been mitigated, if not avoided altogether, if the people who were being lent money were mathematically fluent enough to calculate the effect of a variable interest rate on their monthly payments!" -Neil deGrasse Tyson

On Science:

"I like to say it's the universe that's the star and I'm a conduit for people to reach it." -Neil deGrasse Tyson

"The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it." -Neil deGrasse Tyson

"I'll give you a great reason not to go to Mars: Bush thought it was a good idea." -Bill Maher

"NASA is a force of nature unto itself to inspire a generation to want to become scientifically literate. And one of the greatest problems this nation has today is the absence of science literacy!" -Neil deGrasse Tyson

On Clarence & Ginni Thomas:

"Don't underestimate how much a man does not know about what his wife does." -Neil deGrasse Tyson

"By the way, is it a news flash that there's lots of stuff that Clarence Thomas doesn't know?" -Rep. Anthony Weiner

"He should definitely recuse himself from any decision about the healthcare plan." -Rep. Anthony Weiner

"I believe careers should be judged independently unless there's a clear conflict of interest in a specific case." -John Fund

On The Civil War at 150:

"The Civil War was about a lot of things, but the core of it was slavery. That was the original sin." -John Fund

"It's one thing to re-enact it if you won. Why would you re-enact it if you lost?" -Bill Maher

"I still haven't shaken the image of the fact that the blue/red division of states in America closely tracked the sides that chose up for the Civil War." -Neil deGrasse Tyson

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