Episode 188

June 11, 2010


On Oil:

"This whole show might just be about how much oil sucks." -Bill Maher

"BP today finally managed to almost completely stop the flow of information." -Bill Maher

"There is good news. Scientists sent a probe down there in the Gulf of Mexico today and they found traces of seawater." -Bill Maher

"The only silver lining I can find is that British accents aren't sexy anymore." -Bill Maher

"Now that those pictures come in of the wildlife, you know, I feel there's shit on me. I feel like someone from Greenpeace should scrub me down every night." -Bill Maher

"Sometimes tragedies midwife something good." -Bill Maher

"I think we do have to come, as a nation, around energy independence, what we can produce here, number one, and...corollary to it, is alternative fuels." -Bill Frist

"We're trying to drill all of our oil, or a huge proportion of our oil, from the place where we get all our shrimp and oysters. And that's awkward, it turns out." -Rachel Maddow

"The whole reason Obama was coming out for more drilling was as a sop to the conservatives." -Bill Maher

"[President Obama] had to lie, basically. And the lie was, 'Drilling has never been safer.' And we know for a fact, actually, drilling has never been more dangerous. Not just this spill, but before this spill." -Bill Maher

"The United States Defense Department is the largest procurer of oil in the world. It uses more oil than anywhere else, to kill people in the Middle East, to get fuel to fight wars. It's sort of a cycle-of-life thing." -Bill Maher

On The Filibuster:

"In the Senate, you can do anything, by the way. You can do anything that can't be done." -Bill Frist

"Republicans are filibustering everything. It doesn't magically take 60 votes to do something. Every time they do that, it is a filibuster and it's being used more frequently than it's ever been used in American history before. And Republicans should answer for that, because it's a really stupid way to run the country." -Rachel Maddow

"The danger is when you have one party who runs the Senate, who runs the House, runs the Executive branch, and you rule it as straight majority control; the minority has lost voice." -Bill Frist

"People just want Republicans to not do something that's never been done in U.S. history before, which is put a filibuster on every single vote of consequence." -Rachel Maddow

On The Estate Tax:

"It seems like we have to tax something. Why not tax rich, dead people?" -Bill Maher

"I think we should repeal death taxes...because if you're a family, you're working hard, you come to America, you earn money, you save, you invest, you pay taxes along, you have that money, why shouldn't you be able to pass it on to your children?" -Bill Frist

On Women And Business In Politics:

"Meg Whitman is going to be the governor nominee from the Republicans. She's the former CEO of eBay and she said her eBay experience helped her convince voters to buy a load of crap they don't really want." -Bill Maher

"Women don't change politics; politics change women. You hear the same bulls**t that you do from men." -Bill Maher

"A business is there to serve and protect profits; a politician getting elected should be there to serve and protect people." -Bill Maher

"In the United States Senate, we do need more people from more different professions coming in, I think." -Bill Frist

"Just before we dismiss all business people, they stay focused, they have a bottom line, they're targeted and they create jobs. And that's something that we do need in the United States." -Bill Frist

"This is kind of a false debate, to some extent. Because, to say that we need more business people in government and that will save the day is not true." -Jon Meacham

On South American Dictators:

"When we were kids, every South American government was the classic right-wing dictator on the balcony...and, now, it's all, like, left-leaning, very interesting, very modern kind of leaders who are good for their country." -Bill Maher

"They're good guys, you know. They should be running this country." -Oliver Stone

"America always does seem to need an enemy. What is it about this country?" -Bill Maher

On America's Military:

"We have to, I think, grapple with the fact that the United States military is the largest organization of any kind in the world...We never really talk about the idea that we might ever have a smaller scale military." -Rachel Maddow

"We could cut the defense budget in half and still be very comfortable, I think." -Bill Maher

On Helen Thomas & Israel:

"I hate it when anybody ever has to go away in this country because they say something that people don't like." -Bill Maher

"If Quebec was firing rockets into our territory and was sworn to wipe us off the face of the earth...I think we would have nuked them a hundred times by now." -Bill Maher

"I really feel our country has lost its footing." -Oliver Stone

"[Israel's] interests are not our interests. And they're not interests of the people of the United States. They keep dictating to us." -Oliver Stone

On "Duck and Cover" Drills:

"Kids got under the desk. Now kids can't fit under the desks." -Bill Maher

On Nukes:

"Whether it's the environment or it's the proliferation of nuclear weapons, the two most clear and present dangers to our world today, I think young people are getting increasingly engaged." -Queen Noor

On Royalty:

"Why should anyone refer to anyone else as 'Your Highness'? It just seems so medieval." -Bill Maher

"From the time I married to this day, to my dying day, I will simply be a public servant." -Queen Noor

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