Maherisms:

"Huey Lewis once said, "It's hip to be square." Well, maybe, but we can't allow ourselves to live in the past. And that's coming from a guy who just quoted Huey Lewis! -Bill Maher

"John McCain thinks an iPad is something that women wear on their Xboxes once a month." -Bill Maher

"Arizona is out of control...You know, they never say they're targeting Mexicans specifically, but I think we get that idea. Today, they passed a bill that says beans can only be fried once." -Bill Maher

On The Supreme Court Nominee:

"You know, the rumor mill: Elena Kagan is 50 and single...you know, rumors that she's, you know, picky. But, I realized something. I'm in my 50s; I've never been married; I've never been a judge. F**k, I'm a lesbian!" -Bill Maher

"There's nothing in the Constitution that says you have to pick somebody who's issued judicial decisions, who's been a judge. And it's about time, I think, we get somebody on the court that is not a judge, that doesn't fit into a neat, little box." -Myr. Cory Booker

"The last [Supreme Court] nominee to have not been a judge was Chief Justice William Rehnquist, and I don't see a lot of conservatives complaining about that appointment. It turned out pretty well." -John Avlon

"I don't think Americans understand how right wing this court is. I mean, at least four of the justices are to the right of Dick Cheney." -Bill Maher

"I find it very scary that the liberals win two elections in a row - the Democrats, at least - and the best they can put on the Supreme Court is a huge question mark. We have no idea what this person's politics are at all." -Bill Maher

"I hope [Kagan] is a lesbian. The court could use a lesbian." -Bill Maher

"I certainly think if we're going to have diversity, it should be diversity of thought; that there should be somebody who doesn't believe in magical thinking." -Bill Maher, in reference to appointing an atheist to the Supreme Court

On The Oil Leak:

"What is this world coming to when you can't trust an oil company, ladies and gentlemen?" -Bill Maher

"This is clearly a self-inflicted wound that we cannot tolerate again." -Rep. Darrell Issa

"You know, the earth's surface used to be seven-tenths water. Now, it's a nice vinaigrette." -Bill Maher

"The oil company said it was the rig company's fault, and the rig company said it was Halliburton's fault. And somehow, each time they passed the blame, Goldman Sachs made $100 million." -Bill Maher

On Afghanistan:

"Objectivity in journalism, I don't think, is achievable ultimately in the best of circumstances...and especially in war." -Sebastian Junger

"Every guy in that [Army] platoon was necessary to everyone else. And that necessariness, I think, is actually way more addictive than adrenaline is. I think that's what people are talking about when soldiers say, 'I miss it over there.' You have an unshakable meaning in this small group that you can't duplicate in society." -Sebastian Junger

"I was in Afghanistan after 9/11, and it was an incredible experience. I was getting hugged on the streets of Kabul because I was American. We did a good thing overthrowing the Taliban." -Sebastian Junger

"Enough resources, enough men in 2002, 2003, would have stabilized [Afghanistan]. Now it's going to take ten-fold that to make it work, or we should just get out. We're sort of betwixt and between." -Sebastian Junger

"For me, a [Predator] drone is like a Howitzer. I mean, really what's the difference? You put a shell in a tube and it kills someone ten miles away. Morally, it's kind of same thing." -Sebastian Junger

"What's gratifying about journalism is, it's partly that you're doing something essential. It's partly the inclusion in a brotherhood of journalists or of soldiers. It really isn't just about the adrenaline. I think, as you get older, the adrenaline part sort of goes away a little bit." -Sebastian Junger

On Religion:

"Psychologically, religion is actually very good for you, both personally and for society." -S.E. Cupp

"What gets normal people to think it's okay to kill other people is religion. Very little else." -Bill Maher

"Liberals are not atheists any more than conservatives are." -Bill Maher

"The larger thing is that - this arrogance that any one political party owns the Bible or the American flag or the concept of freedom. That's what pisses people off." -John Avlon

"I don't care if you're an atheist or you're a true believer. Arrogance is the word. Faith, to me, necessitates humility. How could a finite being understand the infinite?" -Myr. Cory Booker

"Before somebody tries to tell me about their god, I want to see what they do for man. And this, to me, is the essence of religious faith or philosophy. It's about what kind of a person does it produce. Faith without works is dead. -Myr. Cory Booker

"It's become this crusade on the part of some folks on the right to prove that [Barack Obama] is somehow trying to falsify his faith to the American people. That's politicizing faith, and that shouldn't have a roll in our debate." -John Avlon

"I'm judgmental because [religion] c**k-blocks science and progress, and because it causes more human misery than anything else in history." -Bill Maher